Towards the end

Too many things happened within these 2 weeks, thus explained the short posts. Only 4 days before new year yet big news received out of nowhere. I got my own very shocking news for myself and not intended to tell anyone about it. What can i say, its a life-changing moment. I was still totally knackered from 9 days Spain tour and when i returned, lots of big news were inboxed in my mails etc. From now on, bare with me friends, because im gonna need y'all a lot >_<

The bastard in blue shirt has been one of my good friends since we left high school and we went out a lot everytime i went back to Kuching. He's a maniac and one of the individuals that made my holiday much happier. And he's going to leave Sarawak for good this 1 January. It's one of my big news and a very short notice. Yes, im sad.

I would love to write about our adventurous tour in Spain but my mind is still mixed with lots of thoughts, and i afraid it may turn the story into a dodgy one so forgive me. i posted lots of pictures in my facebook so you can view the awesomeness of our 9-days in Spain.

Now i realised things wouldn't stay like it is forever. 2009 had shown me big changes no matter what it is; relationship, finance, family, personal matters, friends etc. Hope i will grow more mature to experience greater things. With Allah helps. Amin.

22/12/2009

A whole new beginning for me.

Spain was awesome.

I miss my family very much, love them forever. Love my friends too!

One more week!

Phewww...practically im done writing my 3000 words essay. will do referencing, some adding and touching up tomorrow. When you concentrate and focus on what you're doing, 3000 words are no longer the maximum capability to write. After reading hundreds of sources, there are so many things and ideas to write but when it comes to referencing, alamak! I've lost my track after cutting out my words and now its a few words less than my total "safe zone" words number. Ah, later lah! Im so dizzy spending 36 hours in my room. I sacrificed my weekend, less contact with outside world and i even missed the Eid Adha celebration, i heard from Iwan the menu was yummy. Na, as long as i can achieved target it will be fine.

It's Week 10 already and yeh, im aware of it since we have deadlines, like...every week! Oi Flint/Moffats, stop giving us too many works already.. We're dying here, lack of sleep lah...pfft! Finger crossed, i dont want any written assignment during winter holiday. This time, im going to explore Spain with 4 other guys and hopefully it will be a good one.

Off to sleep or movie? I cant decide yet lol. Ciow cin cau fellas!

Weird people

Case 1: I didnt know her and first time met, and she shouted at my face in front of everybody. i just remained calm.

Case 2: I refused one simple request because other's joke, and he@the f.a.g blamed it on me for nothing. i just remained calm.

Case 3: I've done nothing, and he made me from being best friend to total stranger. I asked how's he doing and stuff, and got no reply. i just remained calm.

Till when? I just remain calm and one day, i'll burst. To these people, go and eat your own sh*t. I dont care of your existence! Not even worth mentioning!

Week 8

1. Absolute stressed and depressed.

2. Too much work.

3. Too many events.

4. Too wet and cold.

5. Injured because lack of exercise.

6. Want to be alone but feel too lonely. Want to socialise but feel too tired of it. Oh my.. need to balance it more.

Owh it's that time of year again... where personal conflicts and all problems come together, bashing me up till the bottomless ocean of life, haih~

:(

i miss my family, friends, home and Kuching so much... its cold and im sad :( wish i have my own private jet!

till then xx

Old!

I am growing old much faster. Less social life and more problem thinking session.

Old is boring but planning for "future" family is fun. Cant wait to have my own money, get married and have loads of babies! **ignore the last part.

Orphans will always have place somewhere in my heart. Unfortunately, no orphanage in the U.K i can visit :( and recently, 2 orphans girl became killers because of a boy. May God help guiding your souls.

--->bored of reading, writing report. holidays, cepat mali!!! pfft..

One after another

Yes, i am finished with my labs today. No need to spend time everyday with little tiny bacteria for the time being.

Instead of physicals, now it is time to use my brain more. It's Lab report period :/

It's Wednesday and i haven't found anywhere cheap to go this weekend. Maybe i'll end up in my room again. If that's the case, hopefully i can do something productive.

I am starting to miss people in Malaysia; family and friends. Wish i can go to the hot beach with bright sun again during weekend rather than sitting in this cold room :( There you go. Soft side of me lol.

Better start working then. Hasta la vista.

My life as a foreign biologist

Not until my second year in the U.K i realised the chance im having now. Being in the foreign country. To be here as a Malaysian despite of cheap flights by AirAsia is still a rare event. It is 13-hour flight journey and the weather is completely different from what we have in Malaysia, warm and wet. The first language is English and the cultures are absolutely alien to us. I never bother about those facts not until this afternoon when 3 of us; me, Diana and Karina; all from different countries were trying to communicate in the laboratory. Diana, my lab partner from Bulgaria and Karina from Russia. We were talking in our own English-slang to discuss about our dilution of bacteria culture and we kept repeating, trying to make each other to get the idea we were trying to deliver. It was a serious discussion ended up with smiles when each of us understood each other.

Diana is my lab partner cum tutorialmate since last year and we hardly understand each others' slang last year. It is much better this year and yet there are some points where i need to ask my same-root friends; hypo, milo, naz and helwa what we are doing during the labs. The report will be much more complicated since most of the marks are from discussions and planning of experiments. Hope i'll do fine insyaAllah. There is another deadline approaching which i haven't started researching yet. The piles of works are killing me but i promised myself to do better this year and to be more organised. The first deadline, our hypothesis-presenting tutorial was awesome. I am calmer compared to last year when communicating with my tutorial group especially the part when i have to make my tutor, an ecologist to understand the non-ecology stuff we discuss. And yeah, one of my tutorialmate, Sean, is an actor of Britain's movies, who is so down to earth and another one, Zoey is a professional dancer. Awesome innit?

I have many things in my mind that i wish i can do before graduating in 2011 insyaAllah and yet workloads are demanding for most of my hours and lacking of ATP energy producing which result in early bedtime are the factors to postpone all the thinking. If i am more organised, do you think i can fulfill my wants e.g travel outside the U.K during weekends? :P No need to answer that, thats so obvious. Until then, see you :)

Oh

There were two firetrucks in front of Rootes building this afternoon when i was waiting for the bus to go home. I didnt know what had happened but the firemen were doing something to the driver's seat part of bus 801, Walsgrave Hospital and i barely can see if the driver was still in there. And oh, there was an ambulance too. It seemed bad really, but i didnt want to nose around and waited for the other bus in front of the library. I went out to town to sort some stuff, and policemen were all around the place. The siren can be heard like, every 2 or 3 hours. Somehow Coventry seems a little bit dangerous for me today.

Laboratory has begun last Monday and everyday i will be back home knackered. The stuff we learn this year is much more complicated and completely new to us and if we don't start revising it yet, i guess it is impossible to catch up all in last minute. Tomorrow is the deadline for tutorial and for essay, i haven't started yet. Oh, what a life!

People said " terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata membawa padah". Yeh, it sounds so right. O yeah, i am that sensitive, people. Grrr!

1st week

it's 1.36am, monday, 12 october. yes, i have no class for today, and im super hungry. so here's the 1st week all about. it was ok. i've settled down in our great 3-storey house (compulsary to mention :P) im on second floor which is a quiet area since there are only 2 rooms on the floor, thats it. kitchen and living room, ok. overall im happy living in this house and i have started to eat as much as i can, but still no weight gained for the moment :( hopefully i will in no time.

bad news, the house is quite far from the closest bus stop, and university of warwick this year is too crowded, super crowded. i can bear with the 10 minutes walking from our house to bus stop (which i got lost for my first two days after i returned to the u.k) , but i lost my patience waiting for the bus to go to the university. even at effing 8 in the morning, the buses are full. it is really unbelievable and im still seeking for alternatives as backups if in case i dont get the bus number 12 for my 9am class. yeah, my mission this year is to minimize my absence from lectures. the modules and stuff we learn this year are much more complicated than last year. so, fighting-oh!

week 2 had begun. we will receive our first essay title this week and surely will be super busy and i will not be able to update this blog as regular as before. no pictures for this post since i've lost my camera usb. insyAllah for the upcoming post, i'll post the pictures from recent events. oh, we had our malaysian raya celebration yesterday. it was superb, the food was good. going to bed now. roger and out ;)

2 weeks++, it's worth it!

too much to story, it's all mixed up in my head. so let some of the pictures help me with the words, not much, but just enough :)

went to my mates' university and ate kfc+tomyam on the bridge at midnite, wondering when will pak guard will come out chasing us. how cool is that? lol

beach! my favourite place

watched G-forced 3D at MBO, The Spring with girfriends :P

yep, again, fast-breaking sesh. unforgettable one since this year most of us came back for raya

still have lots to story, but pictures are everywhere so kinda lazy to go through one by one. plus, just got back home after changing burst tyre at effing 3.ooam! the mood was ok since k-box was awesome. total 18 songs :P

*for my own note, from 1st syawal till today; only stayed at home 1 day out of 14. how awwesoome is that :P

1st Syawal

The weather was okay in the morning, a bit hotter in the afternoon and rained heavily in the evening. After solat raya, food kept on going into the stomach, visited 2 houses of my relatives' and then...sleep, from zuhr to maghrib. lazy thin tiny little devil!

At night, organised open house for my mum's workers. It was shocking so many people turned out, even kids and teens that we dont know came to our house. So classic, not many people do that nowadays. I can say, this is the best Aidilfitri i have ever had in last 5 years.

Tomorrow will be leaving for my grandparents' house and i am sure there will be havoc because of the kids, almost 20 of them! cant wait =) Salam Aidilfitri from all of us!

standing from left: me, my older sister and naqib(nephew), my brother-in-law, my brother
sitting from left: my lovely mum, my dad, my younger sister and hani(niece)

Salam Aidilfitri!

Eid-Mubarak, a new start

Allah didn't promise it will be an easy way to get something, but Allah promise He will be with you if you want to. Watch and learn, turn down your ego, give and share what you have, and insyAllah you'll get something. Maybe not as what you hope it will be, but maybe much better than that. Happy Eid-Mubarak everyone. Alhamdulillah, passed.

Fast-breaking sesh with fellow schoolmates, Sept 16th, 26 Ramadhan

essay practice :P

like what i've told nazri, this is the only site that i use to practice writing my basic english. so i should write more before writing 5 essays tomorrow :P

i'm enjoying holy ramadhan here in warwick uni. the food is good, even my prayers are getting better since i spend more time in the prayer hall. being a co-host of iftar is so exciting when people show their gratitude with happy face and that is enough to make me even happier than ever :) and also have the chance to talk to people from everywhere; turkey, spain, arab saudia, nigeria and even macca. nice people from nice countries. they like malaysians :p and im proud of it.

and not to forget, a brother called me aisha since he didnt know my name and confused with another permanent-resident of prayer hall, aysenur. but it was weird, since aisha is obvious a female name, lol :P it was not bad at all, a thing to laugh at. nice people, nice people. even my tutor ;) alhamdulillah. my recent posts will have no pictures in it since i left my camera usb cable in malaysia until i get it back, so perhaps if i can transfer pictures from khairul's camera, it will be a little bit fancy to look at :)

till then xx

Nuzul Al-Quran

Asbab Nuzul Al-Quran, a special day for all of us moslims.


”Bacalah (wahai Muhammad) dengan nama Tuhan mu yang menciptakan (sekalian makhluk), Ia menciptakan manusia dari sebuku darah beku; Bacalah, dan Tuhan mu Yang Maha Pemurah, -Yang mengajar manusia melalui pena dan tulisan, -Ia mengajarkan manusia apa yang tidak diketahuinya.” (al-‘alaq:1-5)

indeed, this is my 21st Nuzul Al-Quran but still i havent spend much time reading our holy book. insyAllah, may Allah will guide us to be a better moslim and Al-Quran will be our primary guidance. insyAllah.

N.B: Thanks Mum, Dad. Love you both for ever eternity.

Mode: Kechiwa dengan service Lloyds Bank.

it was so shocking that there is such service provided in U.K, specifically Lloyds Coventry branch can be so slow, like we have in Malaysia, no offence. i've been standing all day, waiting for my turn near the 4 counters but only one staff on duty. then she went in after done with one customer and didnt go back. so all 4 counters were empty! the queue were getting longer and people were getting annoyed. me too!

Ramadhan

alhamdulillah, i managed to spend my first ramadhan with my lovely grandma and grandpa. my parents without any hesitation agreed when i asked to visit my grandparents again since im going back to england in two days time.

oo Lord, im going to miss that situation; my small cousins, nephew and niece kept running around like they not gonna stop until they used up all their energy. im lucky i got a very big family. from what i've heard from my grandma, she and my grandpa have 30 grandchildren and 7 grand-grandchildren. i kept losing my count whenever i tried to count how many kids were around in my grandparents house every raya celebration and they keep increasing every year :P

what can i say, i spent my first two days of ramadhan most on the road. it takes 3 hours driving from our house to my grandparents'. and it was worth it :)

happy fasting to all, may we have the blessings from Allah during this holy month.

*condolence to hypo's family for their lost of his father. be strong and may Allah will always be with you and your family.

Quickie

1. some people are so selfish to keep burning the forest for their own benefits while others get the consequences.

2. obviously H1N1 is not a thing to be laughed at anymore, so keep yourself healthy and safe.

3. condolence to hypo's family for his father being hospitalised. may Allah be with you and your family.

4. there are disasters everywhere in the world and you know what it means.

5. be good and enjoy the rest of your day/holidays.

my 21st!

same old same old :) thank you Allah for letting another good thing happens today on my birthday like last year. it is RAINING, heavily after a month im back in kuching. people said its not raining for almost 3 months until today. again, syukur alhamdulillah. i cannot bare to go through days without rain anymore.

extreme drought, crap doctors

it is almost two weeks without rain. the sun' and the moon's color changed from light/bright yellow to bright red. the air that i inhale everyday feels so dry and when i exhale, it feels like a flame. my lungs cannot function as usual to achive the common vital capacity since the airways feel so narrow and full with dust and chemical pollutants that react with the inner parts. staying in air-conditioning room will give me headache if stay too long in it while fan gives me nothing. plus, our region is quite near to a big industrial site which release chemical dusts into the air almost everyday. lately the sirens from fire station, just 50 feets away from our house can be heard everyday. its not caused by open burning done by humans, but sudden fire initiated by the heat from recklessly hot sunshine, usually in the afternoon. and this is one of the crowded place in sarawak since there are 4 universities and institutions with thousands of houses and families.

i had fever last 4 days and the temperature was surprisingly 40 degree Celsius. alhamdulilah, with my parents at my side i recover quite fast. when i was in the hospital for my first treatment which i thought the best way to discover what is the cause of my extreme headache and fever, i had to wait for 8 hours to complete the whole so-called treatment. i felt sorry for my dad since he should be giving his talk to his employees and just sit at the waiting area for the whole 8 hours with my brother, which also had to forget about his work at office. what happened at the hospital annoyed me so much. they asked to take xray photo, then gave my urine and blood sample. there were 4 doctors assigned to check me and all of them kept asking the same questions and i wanted to scream at their faces so badly for letting me to wait almost 2 hours every intersections and everyone in the waiting area can see me giggling. and the last hours, i've waited much longer which i cant hold anymore.

i entered the treatment room and i can see my doctor was treating other patience and my medical report just lying on the table without no one ever care. i stand there for almost 20 minutes, still the report remained untouch.i went to the doctor and ask him to finalise the report. what did he say? i assigned you to other doctor. fcuking doctors! they kept passing their cases to one another. i cant believe how government hospitals operate. if there is any suggestion box, which i couldnt find one, it will full with swears and critics.

what happened at the end? they just gave me paracetamol and that made me really pissed off! i promise to myself government hospitals will be my last resort to get treatments. my fever getting worse that night and my parents advised me to see panel doctors. with 3 different types of pills which i swallowed for the first time and a bit rest, i recovered almost 70%.

im going to visit my grandparent's house this weekend and i hope i will get cleaner air there and get better for being 300km away from this sarawak's desert. have a good weekend ;) and to the future doctors, dont be like crap doctors i've mentioned.

sunday

i just read my previous post and now then i realized my personality crisis is kinda kantoi to everyone who read it, lol. but fcuk that, i dont really care. today is sunday and i always love spending sunday at home. my relatives like to visit our house on sunday, and the best part is when they bring their kids. ah, i love kids. cant wait to have my own xp.

yeah, the world feels better after no more blackmail texts from the robbers since last night. what can i say, they are new robbers; inexperience. i can trace their address on my own if i want to, but im not going to give myself headache. now we are at the turning point; another text message, me and those robbers will have business to talk.

people are talking how great their summer holiday is, while im busy dealing with this stuff. for a moment last night, i laughed to myself. i cancelled my trip to kl and sabah because of an incidence i never expected will happen in my life; robbery and blackmail. i thought it only happens in movies and novels, but now it feels like im one of the characters.

let me quote from the last text i received from those robbers, which is the one i realized they never had any experience in blackmailing people. "maksud aku kau bank in ke akaun aku. aku beri number akaun then ko masukkan duit yang aku mintak. aku ada alamat kau." actually i translated it from sarawak dialect version, which sounds scarier than this quote. my father laughed when he heard that, everybody knows all ur personal details can be traced from the account number.

so here's the thing, i dont want to bring this case to court since im going back to england in no time. and i let myself think that maybe these creatures are desperately need money and they need to rob people and somehow i was at the wrong place, wrong time. they still have time to change their mind and stop dealing with me or else, only Allah knows what will happen.

p/s: sorry for these craps, i need to post something in this blog and this is my crap-english language practice site. insyAllah, i will try to write something worth to read in my future post, lol xp

The Worst Summer, Ever

not enough they robbed all my properties in one night, they come back and ask for more. not enough they robbed me, now they are blackmailing me. O Allah, this is the biggest challenge ever for me after these years. i never felt this hatred to living things like now. and badly, i want to do stuff like chris mccandless did, go far away from people, money etc. and live in my own world.

im dealing with more than one individual here, im afraid if i involve others into this, it will lead to more harms than good. whats wrong with my thinking? i always imagine the worst for each scenario. and my mum is right, that explains my fierce character. because i always keep my problems to myself and i never want to share, even with my family members.

O Allah, give me strength to face all these challenges...

Great story :)

click here for love :))

a story like no other

People

Mood, feeling very lucky. surrounded by great people in their young age. i wonder what would people do during summer holidays other than having vacation in superb places like Gold Coast and Bali. i saw these pictures of my previous seniors in KYUEM joining the Indonesia Relief Mission 2009. from that moment, i realised these people i know either in SMSK, KYUEM or in europe universities are great future leaders and their heads full with kindness and responsibilities of everything. i hope i can be one ;) and i will be able to do what they had done. new mission :)))

The Most Beautiful Heart

via Ratina Rahman, our lovely sponsor representative:



I remember reading this story posted on my fren Mim's wall masa kat university....

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most
beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart
for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it.

Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."

The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces
were missing.

The people stared -- how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed.

"You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears." "Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you.

You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece
of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.

"Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges -- giving love is taking a chance.Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting.

So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man,
reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old
man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.

It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.

They embraced and walked away side by side.

Karma

The previous incidence may be a good thing for me to learn something although it is one hell expensive experience. I'm not a good lad though, so perhaps that would teach me to be a better man, a stronger one ;)

Choose, between life

i look right, a hottie wearing green t-shirt and fancy skirt is writing notes. left, another hottie is listening to the lecturer in front, with a few blinks after minutes. concentrate. thats what happen in the front row. and to my right, my friend, the one who is responsible to smuggle me into the lecture hall, is trying hard to withstand his sleepiness. those are a few scenes i can see in one of the lectures in sarawak malaysia university (UNIMAS). it feels so fun since i am able to feel the life of a teenager studying in local university, almost similar to what i've watched from Dunia Baru on TV3, lol xp

the library is so big and yeah, the so-called stereotype is quite true here. it is full with chinese, a race famous of their hardworking character. after borrowing a book using my friend's account, we walk randomly and i am free to usha those aweks2 melayu passing by when walking around the university. i dont get the same chances in warwick uni because the caucasian girls are way too far to expect something from them; with either stunning beauty or extreme height or unbelievable nerdiness. not my thing, or i can say, unable to make them my thing, haha. easy said, asians are rarely compatible to other origins.

heading to the "fun centre", where bowling centre, pool tables and k-box are located, i can see distinctive clans walking around, with smiles and joy on their faces. i can see excitement from their faces being university students. with summer-all-year in Malaysia, future plans are possible to do with friends.

yes, they are having fun. i had fun too, even it is just one day. i am tired, but excited. end of the day, those feelings switched, disappeared. the experiences, fun and smiles i had in Warwick university during my first year, floating freely in my mind. yeah, each university has their own unique, special memories in every student's life. i had the chance to experience for both, local and abroad university life.

either university life, full of fun with friends; or, experiences that teach you about real life. you choose.

NB. it is based on my own characteristics and personality and own past experiences which i can predict what will i become in future if i live in those different situation. dont jugde yourself based on this post.


-shame on me, still confuse if there is a plural for the word "life" -

written by 'silent hedonist'.

Chris McCandless

The man i wish i can be

"the faces"

i was enjoying my meal, "the faces" walked in front of me. i stopped eating. "the faces" are parts of the bits that i will never forget. "the faces", that will always remind me my dark side. i can see the previous moments we had still affect us. silence and fake smiles.

the past will always be with us. the present is not 100% you in others eyes.

-regrets-

summer

my apologies, this blog dun have anything new in it. it takes me so long to adjust my sleeping time and after 2 weeks, i've started to sleep as normal as my family is. since i arrived from england, i slept during days and woke up at 4pm and didnt sleep at all at night. and thats one of the reason i didnt post anything lately. im blur. so do now. lol xp

i spend most of my time at home and also at warung, go back home at about 2 or 3 am after having nasi lemak, nasi pattaya etc. and a few glasses of teh ais and milo ais, yummy..but still my weight stays the same. perhaps i shud eat one whole cow so that i'll gain a few pounds.

for the moment, i dun have any interest to do anything. and even i missed our family trip to sabah last week, i prefer to stay at home and do nothing. there are a few pictures i want to post so badly but i dunno how to transfer the files from my phone to my lappy, if only 3G can be used here, then i can send it via email or flickr..ergh.

and even worst, i cant take out my money from the bank because of that freaking bank card. they better fix it or else my friends and i need to cancel our plan to spend the weekend at resort. i need to get out from home for a couple of days or i die. seriously.



catch up with u guys later. xx

im really good when it comes to thrashing life. since the exams finished, i have nothing to do and super-lazy to go anywhere, even out of my room. the library books are still in my room and overdue. the pizza box from the last two days still laying next to my bed and i've slept 18 hours since yesterday. OhMiGod.
seriously, yesterday at 7 pm, i looked at the window and it was dull. and then, i woke up this morning, at 7 am, the day was still dull. so i thought i just slept for about 30 mins and when my flatmate said morning, then i realized i was dead last night. it was freaking cold and i didnt wrap myself with duvet and i didnt feel a thing. yes, DEAD.

Drama or reality?

yesterday, right after the last paper, we went to coventry to watch terminator. it was good for me since there was one shocking part that really made me jump from my chair, and that was only me, not for the others. LoL.

we went back to campus around 530pm. when i was walking back to my room, i saw a guy talking on the phone loudly with his fierce face. then suddenly he threw his phone to the ground, kicked the big dustbin and ran into the bushes, crying..loudly. i looked around and the only one there was me. i was confused what to do since that guy seem really messed up. i just walked straight to my room and pretended not to see anything. and i heard him screaming.

back to my room, again, i can hear the previous guy screaming outside my window...."Emma, dont leave me!!! isk, isk, isk" Oo My God. i cant believe that guy can be such pathetic, creating such a scene to attract people attention. i watched him kicking the trees from the window and i bet people downstairs also watching. then, there was a girl walking nearby and he said "f**k off". poor girl.

thank god i didnt ask him back there if he's alright, or else i'll get the f**k off thing for myself. i didnt really know if he was a real thing or not, maybe he loves his girlfriend too much, or maybe he just want some attention. who knows.

when i read, i imagine...

• the deliciousness of malaysian foods, all of it..darn it!
• playing cards with my friends
• walking along a beautiful beach
• sitting on a plane and free to go anywhere i want
• watching movies all day long
• swimming in a pool?
• i sleep, then eat, then sleep, then eat (x100)

simpan dulu angan-angan T_T

Happy Birthday Aliaaa

dun laugh or i'll punch u in ur face. this is my first trial ever of cake-baking.

Happy Birthday Alia

Rain

i heart rain, heavy rain

cuz i believe rain cleanses earth. thank you Allah :)

we just finished with our last lecture for first year students of biological sciences department. am having my leisure time right now as the four others; milo, hypo, naz and helwa are having their labs ;P good luck with counting your flies guys, lol. actually need to continue with my revision but i decided to have a break from reading animals and plants module that is full with weird names of species and phylums, sigh~

ok, nothing much had happened these days. just full with revision and not to forget, lab reports and test. most of us in warwick uni havent out to town for quite a time plus swine flu cases had been reported in coventry. so its better to stay away from infected source.

am feeling happy as i've done with my labs, tests, tutorials and lab reports. one thing left, the final exams. am nervous 0_o anyways, good luck for all exam candidates ;)

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, especially my mum ;)

I see myself as a project, something that I always want to be working on and developing.

-from a friend-

what say cow?

* night is sooo short! and i aint sleep peacefully~dizzy

Prosopagnosia

-take some pills, will ya?-

*grabbed from evolution presentation slides

Aspirin-die-hard-fan

aspirin/ibuprofen and similar stuff can be lethal with excess use.

for "exam-fever", the best medicine is rest, a bit.

*the last 10 second part is cut out. missing point:

for continuous basis, talk to ur doctor for maintaining a healthy stomach

Evergreen

Sekuntum mawar merah sebuah puisi
Untuk gadis pilihan oh.. di bulan Februari
Mulanya cinta bersemi dan kehadiran
Ribuan mimpi-mimpi oh di bulan Februari

Kemesraanmu dan cintaku
Berlagu dalam irama nan syahdu
Tapi mengapa hanya sementara
Cinta yang menyala padam tiba-tiba

1
Terkenang kembali lagu cinta lama
Kisah mawar merah berduri
Menusuk di hati
Haruskah ku ulangi

Apakah dosaku dan apakah salahku
Sering gagal dalam bercinta
Mengapa cinta hanya sementara
Api yang menyala padam tiba-tiba

( ulang dari 1 )

Sekuntum mawar merah sebuah puisi
Di bulan Februari

* listening to old malay songs somehow made me relax a bit :P

Pros & Cons

The 5-year-old sent home with faeces in his backpack..

This is one of the news reported on The Times newspaper today and it attracts my attention. you can read it by clicking on the title. and my first impression, why on earth did they put this on? but, hang on...the story is not the interesting part. the comments are. lets us see:

What a stupid story. My sympathies are definitely with the teacher.

Posted by: Grayman | 30 Apr 2009 07:13:09

This is so familiar - my son used to do things like that and it was percieved as bad behaviour. That approach caused more problems than it solved!! Many years later he was finally diagnosed as having Crohns disease - which is a chronic lifelong bowel problem.
In many cases he just couldnt get to the toilet in time.
Teachers are normally medically clueless and only see bad behaviour.

Posted by: peter | 30 Apr 2009 07:18:10

There they are, the pros & cons. so which party is in the right position? in my opinion, no one is. it depends on how the journalist himself plays with the words and of course; different mind, different thoughts. it is so fascinating to see different people with different way of thinking wrote their comments about this news that someone like me; who thinks it just a piece of crap, would just spill out the first thought came on mind. yes, i would like to ask what's the motive they wrote this one on such a newspaper, which is said to be one of the tabloid-free paper. but try to put oneself on other's shoe; for instance the parents themselves. they are so worried about their son's education and think that maybe the teacher may have gone way too far.

what about the teacher's shoe then? i dont know what she was thinking by sending the young lad with a bag of faeces . and this one:

We are Definitely not being told the full story here!

Posted by: Samara | 30 Apr 2009 04:06:48

yes, the journalist got the blame. he is the one who controls reader's mind. i definitely agree with samara as the story is so short and the words were only from the parent's side. but hey, nobody can satisfy each and everyone. being a professional in all kinds of situation would definitely get the respect. again, but, there is something lacking somewhere because one thinks no one's perfect. :P

p/s: i admit by writing this post based on only two comments would be bias. like i said, mind-controlling. but, there's no way i can post all the comments here, write every point based on each comment. that would be nonsense. and the comments keep coming all the time. am being realist here and for sure, this is just one brain talking.



-did this just for fun.....revision! god xp-

9 : 21

Happy Birthday to Zulkarnain Shah Alladin a.k.a Nine, his 21st birthday


Izzat & Na-in , both 21 y.o in April (Alia, i grabbed ur pic without perms :P)

just a bit of the song, i forgot about the video function existence


-dod, u're old-

Prophase 1 of Meiosis

enough with the hormone rush. lets talk about the real thing. the 4 stages of Prophase 1(LZPDD).

* Leptotene

* Zygotene

* Pachytene

* Diplotene

* Diakinesis

*mind the arrows

Leptotene(thin threads)
-individual chromosomes begin to condense into long strands within the nucleus. sister chromatids are indistinguishable as they are so tightly bound.

Zygotene(paired threads)
-chromosomes approximately line up with each other into homologous chromosomes.

Pachytene(thick threads)
-chromosomal crossover! nonsister chromatids of homologous chromosomes randomly exchange segments of genetic information over region homology. in sex chromosomes (X and Y), exchange of information is only over small region of homology. results in a recombination of information.
-exchange site: chiasmata/recombination nodules

Diplotene(two threads)
-synaptonemal complex degrades and homologous chromosomes separate from one another, a little. chromosomes themselves uncoil a bit, allowing some DNA transcription of DNA. but the homologous chromosomes of each bivalent remain tightly bound at chiasmata/recombination nodules

Diakinesis(moving through)
-four parts of tetrads are visible. sites of crossing over entangle together, effectively overlapping, making chiasmata clearly visible.
-closely resembles prometaphase of mitosis; nucleoli disappear, nuclear membrane disintegrates into vesicles, meiotic spindle/spindle fibre begins to form.

*this one feels better, 'cus it's my field =)

Photo

taken from The Times Photo of the week

*i think the picture is good ;) ,colours are great but still it's just a typical photo for me. dont blame me for being honest, blame those great photographers with much greater photos."photo of the week" maybe an exaggeration for the photo itself, but not for the meaning of the photo.

*blame my hormone for such a sudden critic xp

*note that i mentioned the word "blame" 3+1 times

Examination Timetable

the examination timetable for summer examinations is now finalised. this is the timetable, for my own and my fellow biological sciences friends.


PLEASE TAKE CAREFUL NOTE OF THE TIMES SET OUT BELOW. MISREADING OF A TIMETABLE WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED AS AN EXCUSE FOR MISSING AN EXAMINATION.
IMPORTANT: If an examination paper has Reading Time of 15 minutes it will be marked "R" below and IT WILL START 20 MINUTES EARLIER THAN NORMAL, i.e. IT WILL START AT EITHER
9:10 FOR A MORNING EXAM, OR 13:40 FOR AN AFTERNOON EXAM.
You are advised to take a copy of this timetable with you to examinations.
If a paper is Open Book, it will be marked "OB" below and you must check with the teaching department about approved texts.
Module Examination paper code and title Sct Length RdTime OpBook Date Time Room

BS127 BS1270 Agents of Infectious Disease n/a 3hr 0mins n/a n/a 04 Jun 09:30 Westwood Games Hall

BS125 BS125X Proteins/Physiology A 2hr 0mins n/a n/a 06 Jun 14:00 Panorama Room

BS129 BS125X Proteins/Physiology B 1hr 0mins n/a n/a 06 Jun 14:00 Panorama Room

BS110 BS1100 Animal & Plant Biology n/a 1hr 30mins n/a n/a 09 Jun 09:30 Westwood Games Hall

Where more than one section of an exam paper is being taken, the total exam paper length normally comprises the total of the section lengths listed.
You must have your University card with you in exams (or another form of identification bearing your photograph), and you will need to record your University number on your answer book(s). Your
card/other ID may be checked by the invigilators.
It is not possible to amend your registration now, but if you have any queries you must report them in person to the Academic Office in University House immediately. The timetable above may not reflect all
de-registrations made recently by Science students.
You must not have any unauthorized materials with you in exams, and you are required to abide by the University rules regarding the use of calculators in exams. You may only use calculators where they
are expressly permitted and any calculator must be of an approved type, not capable of information storage or retrieval. If you are in any doubt you should consult your department, which may administer a
scheme for the approval of calculators. If you use or attempt to use any unauthorised calculator or other material, this will be regarded as cheating.
You must not bring mobile phones or bags into exam rooms (see further University guidance on bags on the Academic Office website home page and/or postedin departments).
If your first language is not English and you wish to use a bilingual translation dictionary in your exams, you must provide your own dictionary and have it certified as appropriate for use in exams by your
department. Use of an uncertified dictionary will be regarded as cheating. In certain examinations use of bilingual dictionaries is not be permitted; these will be specified on University noticeboards and
outside exam rooms.


i was expecting it will start at 26 may based on last year timetable. the first paper is on June 4th, a little bit extra time for revision. work hard, fighting! xp

ulang, kaji dan lupa

ijinkan saya untuk berbahasa melayu kali ini. semenjak sampai di bumi orang ini, bahasa melayu saya semakin hancur, bahasa inggeris lagi lah entah ke mana. acap kali susunan ayat saya tersilap, sahabat-sahabat pun gelak terutama sekali semasa berborak di penghantar yahoo. tidak lah banyak berbahasa inggeris, tapi kualiti bahasa melayu semakin menurun dalam pengucapan saya. mungkin saya semakin kurang bercakap. tapi saya bukanlah mulut murai. kalau dengar burung murai atau orang murai bercakap, saya rasa nak sepak sahaja.

cukup untuk pendahuluan. di sini saya ingin menulis tentang ulangkaji. ujian akhir pun semakin dekat, bak kata orang putih, dah dekat tepi kona sahaja. saya banyak lagi benda yang perlu dibaca dan saya menghadapi tiga masalah.

masalah satu:
skop soalan yang berkemungkinan ditanya sangat la luas. saya tak termampu nak habiskan 3 buah buku setebal hampir 1000 muka surat sebelum ujian akhir. kertas lalu pun soalan yang diberi tidak lah banyak. sebanyak rambut direktor depatmen sains biologi universiti warwick. kalau nak dibuat soalan yang kecil-kecil dan soalan tutorial, tak terkira banyak nya. sebanyak rambut Miles, budak mat saleh berambut afro dalam kelas syarah (lecture) saya.

masalah dua:
memang patut ulangkaji dipanggil ulangkaji. mana tidaknya, setiap kali baca, sudah lupa balik. kena ulang lagi. saya cadangkan bahasa melayu ditukar perkataan ulangkaji itu. ulangkajilupadanulangbalik. penat saya berjaga bersengkang mata, otak saya main-main pula. main sorok-sorok sel memori. kalau otak saya itu orang, memang saya sepak terajang dia sampai termuntah segala sel memori saya. penat saya baca 20 tahun ini, simpan nya main sukahati. cubalah simpan elok-elok.

masalah tiga:
internet. syaitan paling durjana yang ada dalam bilik setiap orang. kalau saya nak simpan laptop, kena keluarkan banyak kali pula kerana segala urusan sekarang memerlukan internet. kenapa lah internet ini dicipta, saya lebih rela tidak berinternet daripada duduk di hadapan skrin laptop ini, membunuh sel-sel otak saya setiap atto saat (x10-18). esei pula perlu ditaip, tak terlarat saya nak pergi ke perpustakaan atau grid pembelajaran untuk menggunakan komputer di situ.

okay, cukuplah. saya sudah rasa konfiden dengan bahasa melayu saya. itu sahaja. sekian, terima kasih.

RICER protocol

this morning, i got sprained on my leg due to bad sleeping position, which i'll not describe how does it looks like. hint: sleeping with shoes on, avoiding dirts to get on my bed. you imagine it yourself. enough with that. i went through internet ang googled about it and found one pharmacy lecture on RICER protocol about the proper way to manage and deal with incidents of sprains. here's the protocol:

R - Rest and relax the sprained area and avoid further exposure of damage to it (eg. do not continue to play sports/walk after the injury, thinking that you can handle the pain).

I - Ice pack can be applied to the area to reduce the inflammation and swelling every few minutes or so.

C - Compression to the injured area should be done using a cloth or bandage to reduce blood flow to the area and reduce inflammation. Remember to loosen the compression every 15 to 20 minutes, for a couple of minutes or so, to avoid lack of oxygen to the injured area. Continue compression for a duration of 2 hours.

E - Elevate the injured area of the leg to again reduce blood flow to the area and reduce inflammation.

R - Refer to a doctor or specialist.

ok, my sprained leg is not that bad. just fell off due to poor blood flow cause by the bad sleeping position and hit the dustbin right away, lol. just want to share the protocol with ya all in case you face this case in the future. thanks to gerald_lian, a pharmacy student for the valueable information. cheers.

1st day of new term, perfect!

i couldn't ask for more; perfect weather, woke-up early, works done, presentation went well,
cheerful lecture ;) such a good start. people start to lepak2 on the grass everywhere, thats the real beginning of spring. yeah, here it is. spring arrival.

view from 'my' window. notice the word 'my'. LoL

*had ice-cream in the afternoon. ah, just wanna roll on the grass doing nothing, enjoying the sunlight. but, 'tis not time yet. final exams, focus2.. frisbee anyone for tension-release session? ;)

Sunday

Just want to write something for the beautiful but cold sunday mornin'. its been a while i write a lab report although saying am missing to write one is kinda impossible (for sure). it feels good when i started to write it again. this time about virus which i've been postponed for 5 weeks due to the super-fun easter holiday.



i woke up early this morning and the cold mornin' turned out to be hot when i cant open the laundrette door after dipping my student i.d card hundred of times, did it almost half an hour standing outside the building giggling like E.coli i saw under the microscope last term! even after i went to the reception to reprogram my card at freaking 8 am in the morning, it cannot be opened. thank to god He sent me a beautiful and cute angel from korea to open the door after dipping her card just for a few times. she's an angel! lol xp

tomorrow will be the first day of term 3 and i hope am ready. the first thing i will be doing tomorrow is presenting the topic given by my tutor last term using slides. 've done it before and i hope i will not mess up the important points. final term means final exams. final exams means? do it right, study hard, get good marks and go back to malaysia and eat good food. chaiyo people!

10 Signs Your Life Revolves Around Facebook

1. “Can I have your number” is replaced by “Do you have a Facebook?”

2. You profess your undying love to inanimate objects such as food, fictional characters and sometimes even real people through your Facebook status on a daily or hourly basis.

3. When planning to take pictures, you sometimes plan the name of your Facebook album before you take out your camera…so the pictures can match it, of course.

4. When you’re bored, you refresh your newsfeed to see updates…like every 10 seconds.

5. The first thing you do when you experience a dramatic event in your life (such as The Phillies winning a World Championship or your favorite character on Lost dies) you, first, update your Facebook status.

6. The worst thing that happened to you last week was when your X friend de-friended you on Facebook.

7. The worst thing that happened to you in the last few months is the new Facebook.

8. You joke about the fact that you say things outload like JK, OMG, LOL, LMAO, but you’ve been saying them for a few months now…

(warning seek immediate help if you exceed more than five characters when speaking in chat)

9. You spend more time playing around on Facebook applications that speaking to people in person.

10. When you like someone, you spend more time looking at their Facebook page than you do having actual conversation with them.

(If this is true, congratulations! You’ve reached first base - Facebook friends.)

If more than 1 of these situations apply to you, you should probably stop spending so much time on Facebook. If you can add more intense examples to this list from personal experience, please share below & seek immediate counseling.

via "from what i've gathered"



man, from what i've read above, im sure im totally addicted. lol (see, i did point number 8).

*holiday is over. need to get back to working mode full speed. aiyoh~mind the new layout, just wanna see some changes on my daily page ;)

.: BGT 09 :.

her voice is so amazing and i was totally stunned when i watched it for the first time. quote from step up 2, its not where you from, its where you're at and she showed us no matter what challenge comes against you, just do what you want to do.

.: M.I.A :.

MISSING

the 7th day missing in action. these two creatures disappeared from warwick uni without any possible way of contact. if u have any information about them, do call/text us
at warwick uni.

the holiday is almost over. just one week left and i havent finish my essay yet. fikri and mas came for visit last weekend. we had fun a lot since there was quite a number of girls from kyuem also dropped by for a few days. we played cricket and dodge ball, plus rugby [lol] and it felt like i was back in kyuem despite a bit colder temperature. ive done not much last week and i hope this week i able to get back to working mode before the term 3 begins. and yeah, cant wait to finish the exam [with good marks hopefully] and go back to Malaysia this summer hols.

*eat

.: Rain :.

miss the heavy rain. used to stare at the window for quite a time when it was raining. love the sound of raindrops. rain cleanses the whole earth, thats what i think. rain in england? not so much. titis je...

.: Very Shocking :.

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Penang. Her name was Ai Ling. She was hit by a truck.

She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Tony.

Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone. She used to be never found without her handphone.

In fact she also changed her network from Maxis to Digi, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost. Even when Tony left overseas to finish his masters, they constantly kept in touch.

She used to spend half of the day talking with Tony.
Ai Ling's family knew about their relationship.. Tony was very close to Ai Ling's family as well. (Just
imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so, but still cant everybody that had tried to carry the body, the results were the same.

Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.

He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.

He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van.

All of us were shocked. Ai Ling's parents did not inform Tony that Ai Ling had passed away as they're waiting for him to come home after his graduation..

After 2 weeks Tony returned and called Ai Ling's mom.......

Tony:....'Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don't tell Ai Ling that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.'
Her mother replied..... 'come home first, I wanna tell you something very important.'

After he came, they told him the truth about Ai Ling.
Tony thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't try to fool me - tell Ai Ling to come out, i have a gift for her... Please stop this nonsense'.

Then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proof to make him believe. (Tony started to sweat) He said... 'Its not true. We spoke yesterday.. She still calls me.
Tony was shaking.

Suddenly, Tony's phone rang. 'see this is from Ai Ling, see this....' he showed the phone to Ai Ling's family. all of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.

All of them heard his conversation. It is the actual voice of Ai Ling & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed inside the grave box!

They were so shocked and asked for the same person's (who can speak with the soul of dead persons) help again. He brought his master to solve this matter.

He & his master worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them....













Digi 'I will follow you!!!'



via fb, andreas lionel

.: ReaD! :.

10 pages per day per book is not that hard xp

even kids can do it 0_O




*English rose tea, thumbs up! ;)

.: LoL :.

lol, this video is hilarious plus cute ;)

R-16 Gyeonggi

i saw a kid break-dancing on television when wondering in an electronic shop in manchester. he was darn good and even his moon walk was perfect plus he got the gut to clown people that were much older than him. i thought it was just another television series performance, but when i saw the eurosport logo, i remembered one thing. R-16!





youtube will be the last resort for me to watch the competition because the high quality video is hard to find. since i got no option, i have to, lol.

the Gamblerz Crew beat out Top Nine Crew from russia who took 1st place on the first day of the competition which was a performance/choreography contest amongst the 16 gathered crews. congratulations to both the Gamblerz Crew (Korea) & Top Nine Crew (Russia) who won a total of $20,000 each over 2 days. congratulations also go to the Brazilian All Stars who got 3rd place and won $4,000 and Rivers Crew the champions from 2007 who still was able to make it to the final four and took home $1,000. here's the overall result:

R16 KOREA DAY 1 : PERFORMANCE COMPETITION
1st Place : TOP NINE CREW (RUSSIA)
2nd Place : GAMBLERZ CREW (KOREA)

R16 KOREA DAY 2 : THE BATTLES
1st Place : GAMBLERZ CREW (KOREA)
2nd Place : TOP NINE CREW (RUSSIA)
3rd Place : BRASIL ALL STARS (BRASIL)
4th Place : RIVERS CREW (KOREA)

cant wait for the upcoming R-16! ;)

.: Tea lover :.

sorry for my disappearance, sorting things out is much harder than i thought. i broke my own promise; only having two trips for this holiday. instead, i was in manchester last thursday till yesterday. yea, it was fun for me because we succeed to join the tour in old trafford, the place where all football fans would love to be. am not a big fan of football, but the tour was fun. and for sure, Rusholme was much more fun. Rusholme is a place where i can say "halal food heaven" in U.K. the food was great especially the ice-cream and the big plate rice with half chicken. i cant believe myself eating the whole plate on my own. lol. overall it was good.

rusholme

this person didnt bath for 2 days in manc cuz of the cold freezing water..lol

talking about fan, am becoming a new fan of tea. bought two teas from whittard of chelsea after tasting the super delicious fruit tea from the shop. my very first trial, green tea and english rose. they're really good; uhuk2

*back to work