Ramadhan

alhamdulillah, i managed to spend my first ramadhan with my lovely grandma and grandpa. my parents without any hesitation agreed when i asked to visit my grandparents again since im going back to england in two days time.

oo Lord, im going to miss that situation; my small cousins, nephew and niece kept running around like they not gonna stop until they used up all their energy. im lucky i got a very big family. from what i've heard from my grandma, she and my grandpa have 30 grandchildren and 7 grand-grandchildren. i kept losing my count whenever i tried to count how many kids were around in my grandparents house every raya celebration and they keep increasing every year :P

what can i say, i spent my first two days of ramadhan most on the road. it takes 3 hours driving from our house to my grandparents'. and it was worth it :)

happy fasting to all, may we have the blessings from Allah during this holy month.

*condolence to hypo's family for their lost of his father. be strong and may Allah will always be with you and your family.

Quickie

1. some people are so selfish to keep burning the forest for their own benefits while others get the consequences.

2. obviously H1N1 is not a thing to be laughed at anymore, so keep yourself healthy and safe.

3. condolence to hypo's family for his father being hospitalised. may Allah be with you and your family.

4. there are disasters everywhere in the world and you know what it means.

5. be good and enjoy the rest of your day/holidays.

my 21st!

same old same old :) thank you Allah for letting another good thing happens today on my birthday like last year. it is RAINING, heavily after a month im back in kuching. people said its not raining for almost 3 months until today. again, syukur alhamdulillah. i cannot bare to go through days without rain anymore.

extreme drought, crap doctors

it is almost two weeks without rain. the sun' and the moon's color changed from light/bright yellow to bright red. the air that i inhale everyday feels so dry and when i exhale, it feels like a flame. my lungs cannot function as usual to achive the common vital capacity since the airways feel so narrow and full with dust and chemical pollutants that react with the inner parts. staying in air-conditioning room will give me headache if stay too long in it while fan gives me nothing. plus, our region is quite near to a big industrial site which release chemical dusts into the air almost everyday. lately the sirens from fire station, just 50 feets away from our house can be heard everyday. its not caused by open burning done by humans, but sudden fire initiated by the heat from recklessly hot sunshine, usually in the afternoon. and this is one of the crowded place in sarawak since there are 4 universities and institutions with thousands of houses and families.

i had fever last 4 days and the temperature was surprisingly 40 degree Celsius. alhamdulilah, with my parents at my side i recover quite fast. when i was in the hospital for my first treatment which i thought the best way to discover what is the cause of my extreme headache and fever, i had to wait for 8 hours to complete the whole so-called treatment. i felt sorry for my dad since he should be giving his talk to his employees and just sit at the waiting area for the whole 8 hours with my brother, which also had to forget about his work at office. what happened at the hospital annoyed me so much. they asked to take xray photo, then gave my urine and blood sample. there were 4 doctors assigned to check me and all of them kept asking the same questions and i wanted to scream at their faces so badly for letting me to wait almost 2 hours every intersections and everyone in the waiting area can see me giggling. and the last hours, i've waited much longer which i cant hold anymore.

i entered the treatment room and i can see my doctor was treating other patience and my medical report just lying on the table without no one ever care. i stand there for almost 20 minutes, still the report remained untouch.i went to the doctor and ask him to finalise the report. what did he say? i assigned you to other doctor. fcuking doctors! they kept passing their cases to one another. i cant believe how government hospitals operate. if there is any suggestion box, which i couldnt find one, it will full with swears and critics.

what happened at the end? they just gave me paracetamol and that made me really pissed off! i promise to myself government hospitals will be my last resort to get treatments. my fever getting worse that night and my parents advised me to see panel doctors. with 3 different types of pills which i swallowed for the first time and a bit rest, i recovered almost 70%.

im going to visit my grandparent's house this weekend and i hope i will get cleaner air there and get better for being 300km away from this sarawak's desert. have a good weekend ;) and to the future doctors, dont be like crap doctors i've mentioned.

sunday

i just read my previous post and now then i realized my personality crisis is kinda kantoi to everyone who read it, lol. but fcuk that, i dont really care. today is sunday and i always love spending sunday at home. my relatives like to visit our house on sunday, and the best part is when they bring their kids. ah, i love kids. cant wait to have my own xp.

yeah, the world feels better after no more blackmail texts from the robbers since last night. what can i say, they are new robbers; inexperience. i can trace their address on my own if i want to, but im not going to give myself headache. now we are at the turning point; another text message, me and those robbers will have business to talk.

people are talking how great their summer holiday is, while im busy dealing with this stuff. for a moment last night, i laughed to myself. i cancelled my trip to kl and sabah because of an incidence i never expected will happen in my life; robbery and blackmail. i thought it only happens in movies and novels, but now it feels like im one of the characters.

let me quote from the last text i received from those robbers, which is the one i realized they never had any experience in blackmailing people. "maksud aku kau bank in ke akaun aku. aku beri number akaun then ko masukkan duit yang aku mintak. aku ada alamat kau." actually i translated it from sarawak dialect version, which sounds scarier than this quote. my father laughed when he heard that, everybody knows all ur personal details can be traced from the account number.

so here's the thing, i dont want to bring this case to court since im going back to england in no time. and i let myself think that maybe these creatures are desperately need money and they need to rob people and somehow i was at the wrong place, wrong time. they still have time to change their mind and stop dealing with me or else, only Allah knows what will happen.

p/s: sorry for these craps, i need to post something in this blog and this is my crap-english language practice site. insyAllah, i will try to write something worth to read in my future post, lol xp

The Worst Summer, Ever

not enough they robbed all my properties in one night, they come back and ask for more. not enough they robbed me, now they are blackmailing me. O Allah, this is the biggest challenge ever for me after these years. i never felt this hatred to living things like now. and badly, i want to do stuff like chris mccandless did, go far away from people, money etc. and live in my own world.

im dealing with more than one individual here, im afraid if i involve others into this, it will lead to more harms than good. whats wrong with my thinking? i always imagine the worst for each scenario. and my mum is right, that explains my fierce character. because i always keep my problems to myself and i never want to share, even with my family members.

O Allah, give me strength to face all these challenges...