. : Najib Territory : .

;)

2011-02-20T15:30:00.007Z

Sorry for no more updates :( Prefer real expressions with hot topics to talk about, rather than expressionless entries with fancy emoticons :P Have a good day! Thanks for dropping by!

Pedestrious tour

2010-12-27T22:32:00.002Z

Image: Richard Harrison, Claycroft, Uni. of Warwick

I wished to acquire the simplicity, native feelings, and virtues of savage life; to divest myself of the factitious habits, prejudices, and imperfections of civilizations. And to find, amidst the solitude and grandeur of the western wilds, more correct views of human nature and of the true interests of man. The season of snows was preferred, that i might experience the pleasure of suffering, and the novelty of danger.

J. London

2010-12-08T17:42:00.003Z

Dark spruce forest frowned on either side the frozen waterway. The trees had been stripped by a recent wind of their white covering of frost, and they seemed to lean toward each other, black and ominous, in the fading light. A vast silence reigned over the land. The land itself was a desolation, lifeless, without movement, so lone and cold that the spirit of it was not even that of sadness. There was a hint in it of laughter, but of a laughter more terrible than any darkness; a laughter that was mirthless as the smile of the Sphinx, a laughter cold as the frost and partaking of the grimness of infallibility. It was the masterful and incommunicable wisdom of eternity laughing at the futility of life and the effort of life.

Magnificent -6'C

2010-12-06T14:49:00.005Z

Observer

2010-12-05T17:18:00.003Z

Believe me, i can read other's thoughts. No, not that i have a third-eye or something, but i learn to observe. Although it seems like everyone going against you, actually they are having a very similar objective in their mind, to win the game and make it to the Hall of Fame. So, hold tight soldier, keep smiling and fight! Be not anybody's enemy, but everyone's friend. Read: The most powerful nation on Earth, actually is Imagi-nation.

Society

2010-11-30T00:11:00.004Z

I once reached that sweetness in my heart where i cannot stop smiling, for no reason and the excitement and joyfulness flew inside me infinitely. It felt like an ultimate freedom. Free from materialistic world, fake, lies and excess demands. It felt like you can just walk around without thinking about the judgements from the others and you are free to do anything, like, anything. It felt like i can be there in the middle of the crowd without worrying about my status, money, knowledge, job, origin, religion, race, skills, height, weight etc. But only once. That very moment is what i hold onto to keep me going through that cracks of society. Narrow and hard for me to breathe another second with all the emotions, gestures, the way they look at me; expressionless freaks me the most as i dont know what they are thinking.

Even harder when i have to be part of it. I have to judge everyday, every figures that come across in front me or in my mind. It feels like i have no other genuine, less cruel choices but to play along with the game. When i am at the bottom, it feels like i am the boy in the corner of the room while at the top, seems like im leaving someone in corner. So that leaves me in the middle where judgemental figures dont want to be, all are pursuing the top and left those in need with their struggles. Its either you rich, or be poor. Its either you healthy, or be sick. Its either you smart, or be dumb. Its either you outstanding, or keep shut. Where are all equalities crap i hear, see, watch gone? Where's all the non-judgemental figures hiding? Why do i need to compete for fancy cars, loads of money in bank account, has a good body-shape, has a wide knowledge of things i dont even like? Why should i act to be hardworking as them, to be as smart as them, as rich as them in order to get accepted in the particular group? That problem may arise from me as i think too much rather than doing it, but it feels like im restraining myself into a specific society and what i want, really want is again that ultimate freedom. I read somewhere how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong.

Yeah!

2010-11-05T20:11:00.001Z

Let go and just do it! :)

Passion

2010-11-03T23:30:00.003Z

Am i over-passionate when doing something i like? Feel like betrayed when you're the only one who is working hard for it and others step aside and watch, with various excuses. I really need a break. Really.

For all children around the world, we devote our times :)

2010-10-31T23:56:00.002Z

:)

http://www.justgiving.com/26to91

LoL

2010-10-27T14:18:00.000+01:00

Voila!

2010-10-25T22:38:00.006+01:00

Q:Why am I different from others?

A: ....Why do you have to be like others? :)

Great minds do think alike, sometimes. But most of the times, they think differently. Focus on the own strength, there lies happiness for you. Only you :)

Warwick Uni Autumn

2010-10-23T13:19:00.001+01:00

:))

2010-10-21T14:11:00.001+01:00

480/0/21/10/10

The Social Network

2010-10-20T14:22:00.002+01:00

Director David Fincher (Fight Club, Seven) teams with screenwriter Aaron Sorkin (The West Wing) to explore the meaning of success in the early 21st century from the perspectives of the technological innovators who revolutionized the way we all communicate. The year was 2003. As prohibitively expensive technology became affordable to the masses and the Internet made it easy to stay in touch with people who were halfway across the world, Harvard undergrad and computer programming wizard Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) launched a website with the potential to alter the very fabric of our society. At the time, Zuckerberg was just six years away from making his first million. But his hearty payday would come at a high price, because despite all of Zuckerberg's wealth and success, his personal life began to suffer as he became mired in legal disputes, and discovered that many of the 500 million people he had friended during his rise to the top were eager to see him fall. Chief among that growing list of detractors was Zuckerberg's former college friend Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield), whose generous financial contributions to Facebook served as the seed that helped the company to sprout. And some might argue that Zuckerberg's bold venture wouldn't have evolved into the cultural juggernaut that it ultimately became had Napster founder Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake) not spread the word about Facebook to the venture capitalists from Silicon Valley. Meanwhile, the Winklevoss twins (Armie Hammer and Josh Pence) engage Zuckerberg in a fierce courtroom battle for ownership of Facebook that left many suspecting the young entrepreneur might have let his greed eclipse his better judgment. The Social Network was based on the book The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Amsterdam, Eindhoven etc

2010-10-07T19:12:00.002+01:00

So these are some part of my Amsterdam trip right before the term started last week. Still got so many things to sort out, expect less update here for time being :)

Kuching-Kuala Lumpur-Birmingham

2010-09-20T02:43:00.003+01:00

Less than 1 week i am off to Coventry for my final year. Friends are leaving for their uni as well starting last Saturday, but we had such a great time together during Eidul Fitr this year. But Ramadhan was much happier for me as everyone contacted each other to spare some times for sungkei (breaking fast) cum reunion. Still got loads to do; need to get my new HSBC Atm card at Padungan, Kuching, editing video using Sony Vegas Pro 9 for my cousin wedding which i am a newbie in creating videos, working with hundreds of photos during this 3 months summer holiday, updating my address in Coventry, and most important to-do-note is to find the best Laksa Sarawak paste and Sarawak layered cake for the whole year. I am sure im gonna need pastes more than i did in my second year as i can see tonnes of assignments, seminars, readings, projects etc for final year T_T Hopefully everything would be fine for my final year as im starting to miss Kuching even before leaving for the U.K. Compared to all places i've been in this world, nothing is like Kuching; such a great place to live, socialise and settle down :)

First product of (beeep...) Production

2010-09-08T07:05:00.002+01:00

Selamat Hari Raya Majied! @ Happy Eidul Fitr! ;)

Sematan Beach

2010-09-06T07:00:00.006+01:00

Just want to put up some pictures i took last month at Sematan Beach, Sarawak. Indeed all the beauty in this world only belongs to Allah and He can take back everything in the blink of an eye. Im praying for the safety of my best buddy, Abdul Majied and all brothers and sisters in New Zealand. May we live and die in faith to Allah. Amin.

The reasons

2010-08-28T00:20:00.004+01:00

Of many things, it took me many years to finally accept that every single thing in this world exists because there are reasons behind it, and to finally achieve this sense is absolute happiness to me :) I do believe that how cruel people can be, there must be reasons. How kind people can be there must be reasons. How hot and cold a person is, i tell myself, yeah, the reasons are always slipped in. I constantly ask myself why someone's personality can change very rapidly, parallel with different environments and persons he or she encounters everyday. Thats what we called "adjustment". I'll say adjustments and being a hypocrite are 2 different things, but connected. Adjustments among human beings happenned because they hope for proper relationship with others, while hypocrisy is the practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess, or in other words, not being oneself. In most cases, people are not being themselves because they want to fit into the society and being different sometimes can cause a little too much...awkwardness, shall i say? But i do find it is such an offense to call someone a "weirdo", such a harsh word (maybe). From years to years, personality can change. So who can tell you're not being yourself? Unless they are with you side by side from the day you were born until present time.

Adjustments can only happen slowly, with efforts. You may already came across this one a few times, "One's present can be changed but not the pass". What i am trying to say is, the history which happenned in the past cannot be changed. We grow with environments and to change our nature a.s.a.p is almost impossible, unless brain washing events occur continuously in rare cases. For example, i grew up being a moderate muslim, as in average exposure to Islamic teachings, but still got basic understanding at least. My parents and teachers did not cane me if i forgot (or on purpose) to perform my prayer, to go to mosque for jamaah or to read Al-Quran. No, i dont blame them for any of that but i feel thankful for that. Learning in slow steps, with average exposure to these kind of teachings give me the chance to measure how close i am to the Creator and how far i will be from the Creator without Islam, or in simplified term, to know the limits. I enjoy being a normal teenager; when im having too much fun, i know it is time to slow down, of course with effort and guidance, taking into account the whisperings of Satan and Devils; when being with scholars, those who already know more about Islam than myself, i am attracted to learn some more. Shut up if i know nothing about it and ask. Being a "Mr. Knowing-All" kinda annoying a little bit and i dont want to be like one.

So, stop carrying around "The end is near" sign and do something about it for yourself and others. "Be happy and average, live like you gonna die tomorrow, learn like you gonna live forever".

MashaAllah

2010-08-25T06:13:00.001+01:00

Excellent reading source :) http://syurgadidunia.blogspot.com/

Ramadhan bits

2010-08-23T00:15:00.004+01:00

It has been about a month since im back home. Some friends and family members think im fasting and will celebrate Eid-Fitr this year in England. Well, not everyone is on Facebook arent they? Since Naiim moved to Terengganu, and a few others finished with their degree or continuing theirs somewhere else, so i have not many to visit really this holiday. But its kinda exciting when seeing some of them, how shock they were to see me again and hearing these phrases "Oh, its been long since we last met", "Oh, u've been a lil bit different, maybe fairer aye? Maybe some snow flakes stuck on you (lol!)"(Oh, my skins were much darker back then, thanks to my childhood mates who were so tempted to ask me out in the middle of the day, when the sun stood straight on our head). Not to forget " it has been a year/years, u gained no weight still". I have to buat-buat pekak (pretend deaf) again this upcoming Eid-Fitr, like last year, especially most of my close friend's parents, they like to express their disappointment(?) how slim and slender i am. Aiyo, Pakcik and Makcik, what do you expect from someone like me after a month of fasting? Gaining another 5 kilos of weight? Thats why we called Ramadhan, the fasting month, where people dont eat during the day, for 30/29 days. I went to bazar Ramadhan after 9 days of fasting, and from what i saw, people are lesser this year than the year before. But one thing about this year's Ramadhan is, even before the very old guy sitting on big chair announcing which day we gonna start fasting, you can hear firecrackers. Well, almost every night i must say. Been missing this last year, so im going to enjoy every bits of the sound. I still got a month to go before going back to uni, so most of the time i am jobless or part time employer of me parents enterprise. I've re-enrolled last week (since i got nothing else better to do), a bit nervous, sad and exciting to be a finalist next October. Surely very busy, with all the projects and essays, so those finalist-to-be, enjoy your penultimate year holiday to the fullest. We'll be working continuously throughout the year starting next month :S Happy fasting people, no matter where you are :)

Bismillah

2010-08-13T03:15:00.000+01:00

Copy pasted from Hafiyyah's blog.

KELEBIHAN-KELEBIHAN BISMILLAH

1) Yang pertama ditulis Qalam adalah BISMILLAH. Maka apabila kamu menulis sesuatu, maka tulislah BISMILLAH pada awalnya kerana BISMILLAH tertulis pada setiap wahyu yang Allah turunkan kepada Jibrail.

2) "BISMILLAH untukmu dan umatmu, suruhlah mereka apabila memohon sesuatu dengan BISMILLAH. Aku tidak akan meninggalkannya sekejap mata pun sejak BISMILLAH diturunkan kepada Adam." (Hadith Qudsi)

3) Tatkala BISMILLAH diturunkan ke dunia, maka semua awan berlari ke arah barat, angin terdiam, air laut bergelora, mendengarkan seluruh binatang dan terlempar semua syaitan..

4) Demi Allah dan keagunganNya, tidaklah BISMILLAH itu dibacakan pada orang sakit melainkan menjadi ubat untuknya dan tidaklah BISMILLAH dibacakan di atas sesuatu melainkan Allah beri berkat ke atasnya.

5) Barangsiapa yang ingin hidup bahagia dan mati syahid, maka bacalah BISMILLAH setiap kali memulakan sesuatu perkara yang baik.

6) Jumlah huruf dalam BISMILLAH ada 19 huruf dan malaikat penjaga neraka ada 19.Ibnu Mas'ud berkata: "Sesiapa yang ingin Allah selamatkan dari 19 malaikat neraka, maka bacalah BISMILLAH 19 kali setiap hari."

7) Tiap huruf BISMILLAH ada JUNNAH (penjaga/khadam) hingga tiap huruf berkata, "Siapa yang membaca BISMILLAH maka kamilah kekuatannya dan kamilah kehebatannya. "

8) Barangsiapa yang memuliakan tulisan BISMILLAH nescaya Allah akan mengangkat namanya di syurga yang sangat tinggi dan diampunkan segala dosa kedua orang tuanya.

9) Barangsiapa yang membaca BISMILLAH maka akan bertasbihlah segala gunung kepadanya.

10) Barangsiapa yang membaca BISMILLAH sebanyak 21 kali ketika hendak tidur, maka akan terpelihara dari gangguan syaitan, kecurian dan kebakaran, maut mendadak dan bala.

11) Barangsiapa yang membaca BISMILLAH sebanyak 50 kali di hadapan orang yang zalim, hinalah dan masuk ketakutan dalam hati si zalim serta naiklah keberanian dan kehebatan kepada si pembaca.

10th August 2010

2010-08-10T06:52:00.000+01:00

"O Allah, on this last day of Syaaban and starting of Your holy month Ramadhan, let Awang Najib Awang Mohamad be an average man full with kindness, happiness and good health, let him be a good asset for his family, friends, orphans and religion especially Palestinians and Iraqis"

*Thanks for your du'a and wishes :))

Between supersticious and belief

2010-08-09T03:37:00.007+01:00

Do you ever think about why Thailand, Indonesian and Malaysian ghost movies are even scarier than vampires from Europe continent? Have you seen this movie called "The Shutter" which is originally made in Thailand that you can still feel "something" is sitting on your shoulder until now; but when you saw the movie in English version, it just made you went-lol (laughing out loud)? This opens my mind about this issue; to be specific among Malaysian family and friends every time i go back to my home country over holidays.
At the beginning, i was confused during my first time moving into our house in Coventry, United Kingdom. To be honest, it really freaked me out to have chosen, or not in my best luck, to get a small room on second floor, with a bag cupboard's door creaking every night when the wind hit, and a window directly above my bed in a 3 storey house. I was afraid i can see "things" flying outside when i was asleep. Why? Because i experienced it myself when staying for about week at one of my friend's house on Hearlsall Lane, just a few blocks away from my house, with the thought that "thing" will come and find me. Alhamdullillah, i never even once experience any scary moments in the house, even when i was alone until i moved out last July, although a few housemates and some other friends did tell us that they saw "things" in both of our toilets on ground floor and first floor back then. So the questions i asked myself, why not me myself at least once have "seen" or encounter this entity in our own house when i've experienced like a lot, at other's places and here in Malaysia? Goosebumps - yes in Malaysia, no in England? Why there are so many what we Malaysian called "buatan orang", where people send "things" to harm whom they dislike but in England, we might be called ridiculous to believe such things? Refer back to Rukun Iman and Holy Al-Quran, we Moslims read and give our full trust on, that there are such things namely ghosts or spirits or "ghaib" in this world. Believe me when you are reading this post, there is/are thing(s) beside/not far from you, reading this together, with you, maybe on your shoulders or it is holding you legs, wallahu 'alam.
Here's the thing. Its the mentality and thoughts that differentiate those believers and disbelievers. When i am alone, i tend to empty my mind, and what comes into my mind first is going to be the story of the day until i change it, either indirectly or forcefully. Its the power of mind that controls it all. If you think of a general idea, for example, a house, the subthoughts will determine what it is going to be about. Let me give you some interesting examples of 3 ways of thinking, given a big empty, kinda isolated house (there are hundreds, maybe millions of probabilities its gonna direct you): creativity, reality and fear. For someone who is creative, he will imagine of unique design of the house, decorating it inside out, so comfy to live in. For someone who sticks with reality, he will try to see outside and grab the first image of another house he saw and design it as other common daily people will. And last but not least, a fearful person, he tends to put fences first, then calls out Tok Bomoh to enchant the house to chase away the bad spirits. You got the idea? Its a mind game that determines everything, or to keep it real, almost everything.
I admit there are bad people who mistreat their knowledge of this "another dimension world", or maybe God knows, bad spirits which are naturally harmful to us. But its about how we handle it, either you get in control or be controlled. Try to think of the best way to treat and handle this kind of problem, but if it is out of control, never think twice to ask for helps and advices from the experts, those who are real i meant, who does not lead us muslims to kufar/kufur, who believe in The Almighty and rigid knowledge of Al-Quran. Remember this, only human will hurt another humanbeings, those from so-called "another dimension" will never bother you in any typical cases. You see something unusual, keep silent and it will not follow you around. We share the same world, but different dimensions...shhh... :)

-ism

2010-07-29T05:23:00.004+01:00

Curiousism:
I once said to a friend, maybe about 5 years ago, when he got a broken arm from a rugby game; "How interesting your life can be?" Guess thats not a very suitable phrase for someone who is waiting to get his arm cemented but he agreed. I myself never had any broken bones, i was a very careful person because my parents always remind me not to join any dangerous sports for good reasons obviously. But i always imagine im a scriptwritter of my own life, a plot must have up and down sides to make it more interesting. I grab every chances to expose myself to dangerous activities or plans, like travelling alone, changing life plans by means of outside comfort zones and so on. Now, i had more than enough of ups and downs, sometimes the downs are bit too many than ups, making me a bit depressed sometimes. Well, every act has its own consequences. So take it or leave it. Oh, the friend of mine said to me; "Now yours is much more interesting".

Emotivism:
Im really glad to have the chance to travel half way around the world because now i realised i was totally an emotivist, acts based on feelings. It needs a very long explanation, if not i may misinterpret the real meaning of the word. For examples, if we tell someone that a course of action is wrong, we are not describing properties of that action but rather merely expressing our feelings, our attitudes toward the action in atttempting to arouse similar feelings or attitudes in the listeners. This happens a lot in Malay cultures. The elders always say it is wrong to do this and that, but never really explain why. No offence, but just as an example, correct me if i got it wrong. In opposite, a few outsider's cultures are being more frank in saying something is wrong with very clear explanation. Complex isn't it? Similarly, from what i've read, accountants and economists cannot work in the same room. Accountants are being more careful in spending money while economists want to invest as much as they can to ensure positive economic growth. In simpler term, everyone is different.

Positivism:
When i am on my downsides, i always try to reach the upside as hard as i could. It may be working 24/7 in the same room, i dont really care as long as i can climb the stairs again. But sometimes being a positivist has its own cons. Let me tell you this, there are a numbers of things in this world that cannot be change, accept that. For instance, i got robbed last year, i am still in hope of my stuff will come back to me, with the thoughts of those robbers will be better persons. Obviously, thats just a ridiculousness. My friend's house got broken into last week and i lost my laptop, and i think maybe the burglar needs it more than me. Thats a little....too kind of thought. No, im not saying be a positivist is wrong at any angle. It helps me to feel better everytime bad things happen to me.

Conclusion(-ism):
Believe me, after 20 years, i have more ambitions than i did when i was in primary school, when my classroom teacher asked me to fill the 3 columns, what i want to be when i grow up. One of the columns i wrote "Prime minister". Gosh, i still dont know why did i write that one down. But Dr. Mahathir was an educator, wasnt he? See, im playing with your mind. You might say, "Oh, he is such an ambitious person" or " Thats just a joke, this kind of person will never be one". Some individuals like to make a conclusion from what they read, what they saw, maybe with no further investigation. I admit i am one of those, well maybe sometimes. Im still looking for that rigid point, where sustainability can be achieved; if it does exist. You found it? Let me know.

A strong man

2010-07-13T09:28:00.003+01:00

Oh im so excited, way too excited to go home this time, maybe because i've been homeless for about a week, almost all friends are back in Malaysia now and today, my turn! So basically in this 12 hours time before my flight, im trying to find something worthy to do, rather than just watching clock "tik tok" ing, counting every second. So i went through profiles on Facebook (oh being a little nosey am i? Dont worry im not a permanent stalker, just a temporary one lol since i have nothing else better to do) and found this profile of a small guy name X. He's a friend of mine, a quiet one. I opened his page because he got this awesome quote, not just quoting but improving the quote to suit us better. Thus i clicked on "older posts" tab. Full with meaningful quotes i should say. Since im gonna write based on his quote which he quoted from someone else which is someelse's quote (i'll stop there) i just put a simple reference then.

"A strong man is with a strong heart" (Mr.X, 2010) Recent years, i try to gain a few more pounds, hoping to hear from friends and family to say this to me: "its been awhile since i saw you, now you gain weight". Thats a meaningful sentence i've been waiting for ages, but nah sadly i dont get it. I tried a number of options; weight gain, mini gym in my room, loads of meal per day but still +/- 1kg. Ladies always express their jealousy because i can maintain my weight no matter how many times i eat, but hey im a guy, i need to be big and strong. Even the first line of defence in war, the war-fighters have big nice muscles and Islam itself says men must be strong to join the war. That is what im aiming for. I'll stop you there. Strong does not mean just "physically strong", there are different angles where we will say someone is strong. Geniuses, they are intelectually stronger than rugby players, women and men are strong in different fields. So why The Creator created Eve for Adam? To complement each other of course. Back to physically strong topic, what if someone who is born genetically dwarf, no matter how hard he tries to gain a few more inches of height, it ain't working. Why aim for the same thing if you know it is not for you, life is fair, try to find something where your strenght lies in. Maybe you see someone is academically good, very sporty and success in their life because others keep encouraging him by praising him all the time and you only stand behind the curtains, watching him from afar, wishing to be more like him. This world does not work that way, each and every single birth is unique and you are born for something, not nothing. I can feel, i am born for something great although i have not find it (or maybe i already did, or maybe ongoing and i dont realise it, who knows?) Same works to others, i dont see why a walking person should be laughed because of their weaknesses, their sizes or anything. Joke is a joke, but i do find this thing is a serious offence as a human. We are all Khalifah on this world, no matter how bad or good you are, how good-looking or moderate-looking you are, how rich or less money you have, we are still equal. Counter-balance. Although im not good at talking big, or just a walking skeleton, or whatelse, i honour my strong heart to keep on going no matter what. Wahh, that feels good, it really is :) Just remember, keep down to earth no matter how success you are, help others when they are in need, dont ever think you are better than someone else at all course because at the end, we will end up at the same place. Where? Deep down the Earth with nothing. Well, joke is fine, i always joke around with friends, especially my big-sized belly friends, hoping the karma will get back to me and i will gain some more weight lol. Well then, pray for my safety during my home journey inshaAllah. Kuching, here me come! :)

A true art

2010-07-11T13:13:00.005+01:00

I always envy artists, not the ones who sing on stage on specific term but those whose work shows exceptional creative ability or skill; music, arts, cookings. It is such a broad term where i always thought im not an artist myself; well at least i got an A- once in my art class during my secondary school (oh that lad was such a handy guy, never wanting to give us As) and i played flute as well, not anymore at university. Some people tend to speak their minds and some interpret their feelings in another forms, be it musical notes, drawings and even gestures. These two groups of people are everywhere, and i work hard to slowly distinguish them. If you are good enough, try to read what is playing in mind through others' eyes. It is such a beauty of art and believe me not, it helps for indirect therapy of every single walk of life. Even if they yell in your face, bang the door (just examples of course) emotionally brain has 2 options; it can direct you to anger or, can release them in parts by giving commands to express your feelings in another forms like i said earlier. Based on my own experience in early stage, i preferred to clump those hatred, all the negative feelings deep inside me and then, puff automatically i felt sleepy and went to bed, then woke up feeling normal again. But it did not completely gone of course, bits of the negative energy still left and become parts of my life. Sounds not that good isn't it? I realised not long ago, the brain keeps telling me to do something creative like "hey, you should learn how to play piano, or violin or whatsoever" or "hey, i dont like this arrangement of room of yours, change it you dumb dumb" to keep me away from negative energy, to think pass through them just like that. Sometimes it tends to direct me to do something not that possible for me in my current situation like "oh man, this is so disappointing, you should fly somewhere to gain your calmness, like New York maybe New Zealand" Well at least both places got the word "new" in them. Out of nowhere, there is a tiny voice telling the brain "Are you out of your mind, mind?" I wonder where did the voice come from but it always keep me smiling inside. Im sure its the heart, and it acts both positive and negative feedback on every doings. A number of movies do have this kind of dialogue; " Listen to your heart" and i think the script-writter must be a strong-hearted person. How to be a good cook? Listen to your heart. Nah, im just joking.

Standing on your own feet

2010-07-10T10:50:00.002+01:00

Forth day:

It feels good to be back and meeting mates after my so-called McCandless Journey where i challenge myself to be stronger to face the certain outcome later in my life. By means of my inner strenght of course without being dependent on others, standing on my own feet. A mate asked where had i been and i was joking i ran away because he didnt give me a hand to clean my friggin big house, although im a bit disappointed to be honest that day, but not for long, maybe just for a night. It is such a tiny thing for me and he took it seriously and i just laughed. No, i dont give a fuck of small things anymore; to be asked to hang out with others, to be served for dinner, to be accompanied when i am lonely, to be comforted when im sad. Im facing bigger challenge now, should i say, more like a slow life-threatening. I wonder if i still can depend on others now, and the feeling of dependent to others slowly fade away, im scared to ask for help or talk about my problems, even to my family and parents. Although im staying in this big city of Birmingham at the moment, it feels like it is surrounded by big trees and no human population at all. Hence, it feels really good when i can write about it because for me to nag to others now, i should think twice. Disappointment comes where they always say "hey im your friend, you can talk to me about anything" and obviously its not. Oh yes, im such a loner now as im preparing myself to face a bigger challenge after student life. I guess loads of people are pissed off with me because im being such a jerk and secretive, but hey let me tell you guys, im sorry about everything, thats the only way i can try to fade off from our fancy life, full with friends and gadgets, oh and also money, im trying not to give a fuck of anything anymore because im training myself to be mentally and emotionally prepared. Maybe i overdo it, but what does matter to me now is i must be prepared and i cannot delay it any second. Kidulthood no more, say hello to adulthood. Oh im just gonna repeat this again, sensitivity is not my thing anymore.

Reincarnation

2010-07-03T21:58:00.002+01:00

Dear life,

Have i grown stronger? Or am i getting weaker? Recently a few events pushed my serenity to the limit and my anger and disappointment which i lock deep inside for years almost burst or maybe it already did. Where is the patience? I feel sorry for myself when im in that condition, and the best way to solve the problem is to go away for awhile, not to run away from the problem, but to think carefully. Regain the strength to put the anger and disappointment where they should be, far away from the heart. If i lost other organs, i dont want to lose my heart and sanity. My aim is to be a strong-willed person, even if i feel like living alone in this world, when i feel helpless, and in grief. Humans tend to get annoyed when you nag to them, when you ask for help and when you show the your weak points, but He will always be with you when you nag to Him anytime, anywhere. I wonder if i can survive the challenges, but i believe if i keep giving the happiness to others but i dont get them back, there will always be next time. To ask for help is a nature for human-being, so dont feel sorry when you asked for one. But dont be too dependent of others as you will end up hurting yourself, physically and mentally when you did not get one. Is there any decent person for me in this lifetime? Im sure there is as i know you are fair, life deary.

McCandless phenomenon

2010-06-27T09:42:00.004+01:00

Adapted from McCandless's journal:

Death's a fierce meadowlark: but to die having made. Something more equal to centuries.Than muscle and bone, is mostly to shed weakness.The mountains are dead stone, the people. Admire or hate their stature, their insolent quietness,The mountains are not softened or troubled And a few dead men's thoughts have the same temper.

Bits of self-review:

Human's fragility clearly seen when emotions take over. Yet that's the main link between hearts. Balance's difficult to sustain, but possible still. Flexibility and maturity, plus joy; ur stance will be at different angles. McCandless, he was such a great guy, i must say. People said he lacked of senses, agreed; but why talk about weaknesses? Take the good parts and try to avoid the same mistakes. Can't wait to read about Khulafa' Ar-Rasyidin.

2010-06-21T18:11:00.003+01:00

“There was an old person of Dean,

Who dined on one pea and a bean;

For he said, ‘More than that,

Would make me too fat,’

That curious old person of Dean.”

(One Hundred Nonsense Pictures and Rhymes. Edward Lear.)

In case readers are wondering what this rhyme is about, 'tis connected to the discovery of insulin functions, mainly to lower the blood glucose. i just find it catchy, hence the upload. [glucagon increases blood glucose]

via .jpg

2010-06-20T10:29:00.002+01:00

History of my 2nd year

2010-06-19T16:45:00.003+01:00

Been working straight 72 hours with only 4ish hours of sleep and yes, quoted from sheraz "you still alive man!" yet some of the short questions were unanswerable, especially for cell biology and pharmacology and just put anything that crossed my mind for essay parts, hopefully that will help inshaAllah! Im satisfied with the effort, just leave it to Allah and working for my last bits.

Random Thought(s)

2010-06-14T22:24:00.003+01:00

Make use of your surrounding to get the most out of it. When you are at the lower side, there is always people around you; friends or completely strangers, to pull you to the brighter side. And when you're on your strong stands, why don't you try to get hold of others when they need them? One of the many reasons to keep you smile...

Keep giving although the value pays no mind, and it is very shocking of how much you will get back from it. Altruism it is, the survival of the ''nicest''.

One thing about human beings in this decade, (almost) all are suffered from heart disease. What is the meaning? It's the anger and jealousy that drive people crazy; they argue its only a way to participate in competition of life. I throw away my anger and jealousy, i feel much better :) but they always come back, we're human after all so allow for mistakes.

Random Thought

2010-06-12T10:07:00.004+01:00

In a chess game, even a pawn can be promoted to become a queen, after all the obstacles; and a queen's fate is still in the player's hand. Wallahu 'alam.

Swimming in dream

2010-06-12T08:16:00.005+01:00

I dreamt i swimmed calmly all night long last night, how cool is that? very relaxing although i still have 9 papers to go lol. My brain must be missing swimming pool very badly, its like about a year i havent go for swimming. A cool way how brain works to relax himself...

Molecular biology

2010-06-10T06:30:00.002+01:00

Polymerase chain reactions

this is experimental technique used to make very large amounts of target DNA sequence in vitro. it allows DNA to become aplified several billion fold, effectively purifying the DNA away from the rest of the genome. DNA polymerase uses a single stranded DNA template to 'prime' DNA synthesis. simultaneously priming of both DNA strands at the edges of desired target sequenced by adding and annealing 2 specific primers. DNA is then synthesised using a DNA polymerase. 2 primers are different which are designed to be complementary with target DNA at different locations. it is necessary to have primers of at least 20 bases to ensure specificity.

3 steps of PCR
1. denaturation: denature double stranded DNA to single strands at 95 degree celcius.
2.Annealing: anneal primers to the single stranded DNA at 55 degree celcius
3. extension: DNA is extended by DNA polymerase in 5' to 3' direction at 60 degree celcius.

each step takes about 1 minute, thus one complete cycle takes about 3 minutes.

PCR reactions now have been automated using Taq polymerase. this means enzyme is only added at the beginning and not after every each denaturation step which is very laborious. cycles will continue provided that in the reaction there are sufficient primers and nucleotides.

application of PCR
1. cloning: to isolate genes whose genes are wholly or partially known. after cycles, isolate PCR products from a gel by cutting out the amplified fragments and ligate into vector. no need to screen the library.
2. detect rare events; for example the presence of rare virally infected cells or low abundance pathogens in sample
3. for molecular evolution studies
4. useful in forensic science to detect crime, CSI!
5. diagnose genetic disorder such as Duchenne Muscular dystrophy (musle degenerates)-multiplex pcr products

DNA repair
intro: cell possess systems which can recognise mismatches and structural distortions in DNA

2 main causes of cell damage: physical and chemical agents e.g. UV; errors in DNA replication

2 general classes of DNA damage: single base changes; structural distortions

5 repair systems:
1. direct repair: photoactivation, deoxyribopyrimidine

2.mismatch repair: uracil mismatched, uracil DNA glycosidase (UDG), DNA Pol 1 and DNA ligase, Mut S, Mut L, Mut H, Mut U

3. excision repair: very short, shor or long patch. enzyme UvrABC, UvrD, Dna Pol 1, DNA ligase

4. Tolerance repair: translesion systhesis polymerase (TSP), in e.coli polymerase IV and V, dinB, UmuC, UmuD, medical interest: xeroderma pigmentosum

5. retrieval repair: best repair, use other repair systems, SOS response, lexA, lexA box, SulA, cell division

Molecular biology

2010-06-10T05:33:00.002+01:00

splicing event

splicing process:
introns interrupt the protein coding region of mRNA. intron sequences occur in DNA and transcribed into pre-mRNA. introns must be removed accurately. splicing rection is catalysed by SNURPS and takes plase in a complex called spliceosome. spliceosome complex consists of pre-mRNA and several different SNURPS. mature mRNA only exits nucleus after splicing process is complete. splice sites are specified by sequence at the ends of the introns at the end of introns at the 5' and 3' splice junctions. GU-AG rule is constant in all splicing process involving spliceosome.

transesterification:
step 1. 2'OH group of adenosine nucleotide in the intron attacks the phosphodiester bond at 5' splice site. bonds breaks and new phosphodiester bond is formed.
step2. 3'OH group of free 5' exon attacks 3' splice site. net result of this is the exons are joined and introns are released as branched lariat structure.
since the number of phosphodiester bond is constant, no energy is used in this process.

self splicing introns pure: pure preparations of some RNA transcripts slowly splice the introns IN THE ABSENCE OF ANY PROTEINS.

group I introns: this occurs in nuclear rRNA genes in protozoan. the event involves the 2 transesterifications. role of 3'OH of G cofactor is similar to that of 2'OH of the branch point adenosine in spliceosomal mechanism. but G cofactor is not part of RNA chain i.e it is not carried together like the spliceosomal machinery components.

group II introns: this group of introns occur in mitochondria and chloropast in plants and fungi. introns fold into conserved secondary structure containing stem loops. the splicing mechanism also involves the 2 transesterifications similar in spliceosomal splicing. SNURPS in spliceosome functions similar to the stem loops in group II introns. thus it is hypothesised that spliceosome mechanism probably had evolved from self-splicing mechanism. secondary structures of group II self splicing introns and U SNURPS present in spliceosome. maturases bind to group II intron and increase the rate of splicing. maturases is said to stabilise the 3D structure of intron while SNURPS is said to stabilise the structures in spliceosomal splicing.

DNA topology

the great majority of DNA in living cells occurs as B form. there are certain flexibilities within B form. 1. the number of base pairs per turn of helix can be altered. 2. helix in the cell is not straight, but rather coil in 3D space. 3. there are certain sequence feature where bends occur. 4. transcription and replication require strand separation.

supercoiling: the DNA in the cell is coiled in 3D and this introduces torsional stress into the molecule. this is known as supercoiling, which can be either negative or positive: negative supercoiling is when the twist of the DNA is opposite to the right hand of the helix. positive supercoiling is when the twist of supercoiling is in the same direction as the turn of the helix.

the torsional stress can be accomodated in 2 ways: 1. formation of superhelices 2. altering the number of base pairs per turn of helix. these 2 possible responses can be incorporated into a single concept; the linking number, L or the total number of times that the strands cross each other in a plane. formula that can be use L=W+T where W is the writhing number, corresponds to the superhelicity and T is the the twisting number, the helical winding measurement.

topoisomerases: this is an enzyme that can alter the number of DNA molecules and there are 2 types of topoisomerase:

Type 1 topoisomerase: this type breaks one strand of the DNA, pass the other strand through and gap and seal the break. linking number, L changes by +/- 1.

Type 2 topoisomerase: this type breaks both strands of the DNA and pass ANOTHER PART OF HELIX through the gap and seal the break. the linking number change by +/-2. example of this type of topoisomerase is DNA gyrase in DNA replication.

Nothing to envy

2010-06-08T10:11:00.005+01:00

Everyone is talking about the new iPhone which is coming out this month. Some people busy with their pre-order; some just updating their status, wishing to have more money in their bank account to participate in the so-called world lifestyle contest. I used to be very envious of every single thing that people haveand i still am, to be honest.
But, a reminder for myself and people out there, what it is for? Whats the purpose? Can it gives any benefits to our beloved Palestinian brothers who suffer the Gaza crisis? With one single product from Apple, they can make us forget. What if Apple is working with the Laknatullah Israelis? No, im not saying they are because i dont know anything about them, im just giving an assumption to think about. Dont change your mind yet because of a single sentence. Make your own research, and think again before you do something. Which one do you want to choose, the lifestyle here in this world or the lifeafter? This is perfectly a reminder for myself and if it does make the readers think, that's good. I want to invest for my lifeafter starting every single day, i dont want to miss the joy im giving to others, not only for myself. Im much happier when i know even one pence i give will help others.
Talking about giving, i want to quote from Friday khutba last week. Even if you give 1000 or even a million but if you do not do the obligation, for example myself as muslim to pray 5 times a day which is still a big problem for me, dont even bother about the other kindness you did. It makes me think, Allah is the Most Merciful and every single deed counts. I've tried my best to be as near as i can to achieve 'good muslim' title but to be frank, praying 5 times a day is still hard to achieve the 'istiqamah' status especially Subuh prayer. But again, i quote from somewhere i can't remember, even Rasulullah (PBUH) said "even the heaven for me is not a guarantee not until I got blessing from Allah the Almighty". and i believe although if im standing between the line that separate the Heaven and Hell, i pray to You to make it easy for me inshaAllah.
Remember, the older we grow, the more money we get, the closer we are to our death. Im not a good muslim yet i still wish to do the best to achieve this. Amin.

Fav Tutor

2010-06-03T14:02:00.001+01:00

Again, my tutor does the miracle. He helps me to calm down a bit, syukur alhamdulillah. Key point: understand and keep calm.

Nervous

2010-06-03T10:51:00.002+01:00

O Lord, please make it easy for us and do not make it difficult. Amin.

Different walks of life

2010-06-01T22:41:00.004+01:00

Dear life,

I was stunned today by how much the surrounding can teach me about 'you'. Different people from different continents, different countries, different races, different ages that walk pass through me everyday have different kind of 'you' but we are all leading the equal sum. And how dare am i to say that 'you' are so unfair? I heard a story from a friend which i thought is having a normal 'you' based from his expression, but actually deep inside his heart, no one knows really. I bet i am learning to be an adult now, and i guess my brain structure is changing too (it was from my neurobiology lecture though, brain changes when learning as an adult). 'You' are that beautiful when i can see 'you' from different angles and i guess the word "lucky" does not really affect me now. Hope i can hold onto the beautiful side of 'you' until the Time comes, all the best for me and 'you': life deary :)

*Bunuh orang macam bunuh ayam. Wahai Israel, the time will come. It will.

Cell Signalling

2010-05-30T15:39:00.003+01:00

What is..?

SMAD = Small body Mothers Against Decapentaplegic

STAT = Signal Transducer and Activator and Transcription [Stat 1, 2, 3, 4, 5a, 5b, 6] like hello, bagi jela nama senang sikit

JAK = Janus Kinases [Jak 1, 2, 3, Tyk2(asal la tak letak je Jak4, gedik!)]

G protein = Guanine nucleotide binding protein [a molecular switch, active when bound to GTP and inactive when bound to GDP]

GPCR@7-span@serpentine receptor = G-protein-coupled receptor

Protaglandin E binds to at least 4 GPCR, Dopamine and acetylcholine binds to at least 5 GPCR, adrenaline@epinephrine binds to at least 9 GPCR, serotonin@5-HT binds to at least 15 GPCR

RGS protein = Regulator of G-protein Signalling

Regulation of Ras: GEF= Guanine nucleotide exchange factor, GAP = GTPase activating protein

Gs: stimulates adenylate cyclase (Glucagon, ACTH)

Gi: inhibits adenylate cyclase (Prostaglandin PGE1, adenosine), activated by acetylcholine

Gt: stimulates cGMP phosphodiesterase (Photons (rhodopsin))

Gq: stimulates phospholipase C (Bombesin, vasopressin)

G13: activates ion channels (Na⁺/H⁺ exchange)(Thrombin)

Gas: stimulate adenylate cyclase, receptor is activated by cholera toxin so the Gas constantly ON.

Gai: inhibit adenylate cyclase, activate MAPK cascades (MAPK3, MAPK2, MAPK), receptor is inactivated by Pertussis toxin so Gai constantly OFF

Gao: activate phospholipase C-b, bukak K+, tutup Ca2+

Gaq: activate phospholipase C-b, activate MAPK cascades

Gbg: opens K+ channels in cardiac muscle, causes hyperpolarisation

Adenyl cyclate converts ATP to cAMP (a second messenger)

RTK activates MAPK cascades via Ras

GPCR and RTK activate:

1. 3 isoforms of PLC: PLC-g, PLC-b and PLC-d

2. PI-3 kinases: p85, p101 and p110

Dopamine: D1-like, D2-like receptors; D1 and D5 couple via Gs stimulating adenylate cyclase; D2, D3, D4 couple via Gi inhibiting adenylate cyclase.

Acetylcholine: 5 muscarinic receptors; M1, M3, M5 couple dengan Gq to stimulate phospholipase C. M2 couples Gi to open K+ channel. M4 couples Gi to inhibit adenylate cyclase. stimulates contraction of skeletal muscle, inhibits contraction of cardiac muscle.

Nak diceritakan pasal serotonin a.k.a 5-HT tak payah la...

Sakit jiwa tak murid-murid? Jangan...thats not even 1/20 of it. Sedap nye kalau bley mengajar budak sekolah menengah benda macam nie, merasa la kau! Rabbi yassir wa la tu 'assir.

Malu

2010-05-29T08:48:00.004+01:00

Came across this: " Seseorang tidak akan dimasukkan ke syurga dengan sebab amalannya." Sahabat bertanya: " Walaupun kamu ya Rasulullah ?" Baginda menjawab : Walaupun saya , melainkan dengan limpahan rahmat ALLAH kepadaku. " (Riwayat al-Bukhari ). Ever think of this? 5 times per day prayers, reciting holy Al-Quran and talk about Islam 24/7 will never enough to be compared to what Rasulullah had done and he (PBUH) said "even me..in the guarantee of Heaven", really make me shy down to Earth :S Let's reflect-i do forget to do some of the commands, khusyu' is way to far to talk about because too many things going in mind. We're running out of time really, but we can try to do our best. ;)

Promise

2010-05-28T19:44:00.003+01:00

Manusia berpegang pada janji, hendaklah ditepati. This quote really freak me out to make any promises, so the best way: inshaAllah? I'll try to fulfil all the words that come from me mouth, sorry if i forget, remind me if i do. N.B. One thing to do: birthday cake izzat!*think

Summer bits

2010-05-25T15:46:00.005+01:00

University of Gibbet Hill, Warwick

2010-05-24T11:43:00.002+01:00

Proud to be a Gibbet-Hillian, where we have yellow heaven and purple forest. Breath-taking on summer day. Credits to Kyie Karim.

Dear friends, the real thing is...

2010-05-20T14:01:00.005+01:00

The real thing is each and every individual has their own difficulties and sadness, not even single human being on this Earth is perfectly perfect; be it socially, physically, mentally, health, wealth etc. You might say " how lucky he/she is, and how doom/sad i am". God forbid, sesungguhnya Allah Maha Adil. Di sebalik setiap senyuman ada kesedihan; di sebalik setiap kelincahan, ada kelemahan; di setiap kepintaran, ada kekurangan. Allah Maha Adil, Allah Maha Adil, Allah Maha Adil. Janganlah engkau bersedih tatkala engkau melihat orang lain gembira dan bahagia.

At times of sorrow and grief: La ilaha illa Allah Al 'Azim, Al 'Alim; La ilaha illa Allah Rabbul 'arshii 'Azim, La ilaha illa Allah Rabbus samawati wa Rabbul ardi wa Rabbul 'arshi Karim.
Each femto-thing in this tiny world has its own destined pathway, either clear or rocky, hanya Allah Maha Mengetahui.

Antara Tanda-Tanda Kecil Kiamat Berdasarkan Hadis:

2010-05-18T16:50:00.000+01:00

Penaklukan Baitulmaqdis

Dari Auf b Malik r.a katanya, “Rasulullah s.a.w. telah bersabda: “Aku menghitung enam perkara menjelang Hari kiamat. “Baginda menyebutkan salah satu diantaranya, iaitu penaklukan Baitulmuqaddis.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Ya, hari ini tidak ada sesiapa dapat menafikan bahawa dekatnya hari kiamat itu dengan penaklukan Baitul Maqdis. Namun amat didukacitakan ialah umat Islam kini begitu leka tentang penaklukan Baitul Maqdis oleh zionis dan menganggap seperti tidak ada apa-apa yang berlaku. Umat Islam masih sibuk dengan politik tempatan yang tidak ada penghujung perbalahannya. Maka bertepuk tanganlah Dajjal melihat kita berpolitik sehingga melupakan politik Baitul Maqdis dan politik Palestin.

Khutbah Jumaat seluruh dunia kini dilihat begitu jarang menceritakan politik Palestin dan mereka lebih gemar menceritakan perkara yang makmum boleh dapati dengan mudah maklumat itu di mana-mana. Kebanyakan khatib dan teks negeri kini amat jarang dilihat menceritakan tentang politik Palestin dan tidak ada semangat jihad yang ditiup ketika Khutbah Jumaat.

Zina Terang-terangan Berleluasa

“Dan tinggallah manusia-manusia yang buruk, yang sesuka hatinya melakukan persetubuhan seperti keldai (di khalayak umum). Maka pada zaman mereka inilah kiamat akan datang” (Sahih Muslim)

Adakah kamu yakin perzinaan seperti keldai iaitu perzinaan terbuka masih sedikit berlaku? Anda yakin? Tidakkah anda sedar bahawa Industri pornografi lebih teruk dari persetubuhan keldai? Industri pornografi bersetubuh di depan khalayak Dunia! Jadi hadith ini sudah menjadi kenyaraan kini!

Alat-Alat Muzik Menjadi kebanggaan dan digila

Pada akhir zaman akan terjadi tanah runtuh, rusuhan dan perubahan pada muka. Ada yang bertanya kepada Rasulullah “Wahai Rasulullah bila hal itu terjadi?” Baginda menjawab: “Apabila telah bermaharajalela muzik (bunyi-bunyian) dan ramainya penyanyi-penyanyi wanita” ( HR Ibnu Majah)

Mengenai hadith ini sudah tidak dapat dinafikan lagi bahawa masyarakay kini begitu taksub dengan muzik sehingga terkeluar dari landasan yang dibenarkan. Baru-baru ini rancangan Akademi Fantasia yang secara Ijmak HARAM menukar wajahnya. Semakin kelihatan baru dan bertenaga menenggelamkan Umat Islam di dalam Fantasi yang sedikit pun tidak memberi untung terhadap pembangunan dan kekuatan Umat Islam. Bukan saja tidak memberikan untung sebaliknya memberikan kerugian terhadap penontonnya yang majoriti Muslim dengan mengundi Artis kesayangan mereka. Masih ada lagi masyarakat yang mempunyai banyak masa untuk melayani karenah hiburan tanah air yang semakin hari semakin pelik dan jelik.

Menghias Masjid dan Membanggakannya

“Diantara tanda-tanda telah dekatnya kiamat ialah manusia bermegah-megah dalam mendirikan masjid” ( H.R Nasai)

Mengenai hal ini, Malaysia sendiri sudah boleh dijadikan contoh apabila masjid dijadikan perkara yang ingin dimegah-megah. Jurutera dan arkitek yang hebat diupah untuk menyiapkan masjid yang super canggih dan mewah yang mana hanya dihadiri 2 baris saf setiap kali waktu solat. Jika yang memenuhinya hanya 2 baris, adalah lebih baik baki jutaan ringgit untuk menyiapkan masjid itu diserahkan kepada faqir miskin.

Munculnya kekejian, Memutuskan Persaudaraan dan Bersikap Buruk Dengan Jiran

“Tidak akan datang kiamat sehingga banyak perbuatan dan perkataan keji, memutuskan hubungan silaturahim dan bersikap yang buruk dengan jiran” (H.R Ahmad dan Hakim)

Tanda hadith ini boleh sahaja dilihat di bandar-bandar dan semua sudah memakluminya.

Ramai Orang Soleh Meninggal Dunia

“Tidak akan datang hari kiamat sehingga Allah mengambil orang-orang yang baik dan ahli agama di muka bumi, maka tiada yang tinggal padanya kecuali orang-orang yang hina dan buruk yang tidak mengetahui yang makruf dan tidak mengingkari kemungkaran” ( H.R Ahmad)

Orang Hina Mendapat Kedudukan Terhormat

“Di antara tanda-tanda semakin dekatnya kiamat ialah dunia akan dikuasai oleh Luka’ bin Luka’ (orang yang bodoh dan hina). Maka Orang yang paling baik ketika itu ialah orang yang beriman yang diapit oleh dua orang mulia” (H.R Thabrani)

Tanda inilah yang paling jelas berlaku dalam Masyarkat hari ini. Banyak negara Islam kini terdiri dari pemerintah yang tidak tahu mentadbir negara sebaliknya hanya mengikut skrip pentadbiran yang ditulis oleh golongan di sebalik tabir. Siapakah golongan disebalik tabir itu? Iaitu golongan yang sebenarnya memiliki negara ini. Lihat sahajalah Amerika. Setiap Presidennya adalah orang yang keji dan jahat namun mendapat tempat terhormat dan tertinggi dalam masyarakay Dunia. Sekalipun manusia tahu mereka adalah hina, namun mereka diangkat ibarat tuhan bagi mereka yang tidak mengetahui.

Mengucapkan salam Kepada Orang Yang Dikenali Sahaja

“Sesungguhnya di antara tanda-tanda telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah manusia tidak mahu mengucapkan salam kepada orang lain kecuali yang dikenalinya sahaja.” (H.R Ahmad)

Tanda yang ini tidak perlu dihuraikan lagi kerana semua tahu bahawa inilah yang paling dahsyat berlaku dalam masyarakat.

Ramai Wanita Berpakaian Tetapi hakikatnya telanjang

Diriwayatkan dari Abu Huraira r.a “Di antara tanda-tanda telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah akan muncul pakaian-pakaian wanita dan apabila mereka memakainya keadaannya seperti telanjang”

Bulan Sabit Kelihatan Besar

“Di antara tanda-tanda telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah membesarnya bulan sabit.” (H.R Thabrani)

Banyak Dusta dan Tidak Tepat dalam menyampaikan Berita

“Pada akhir zaman akan muncul pembohong-pembohong besar yang datang kepadamu dengan membawa berita-berita yang belum pernah kamu dengar dan belum pernah didengar oleh ibu bapa kamu sebelumnya, kerana itu jauhkanlah dirimu dari mereka agar mereka tidak menyesatkanmu dan memfitnahmu.” ( Sahih Muslim)

Banyak Saksi Palsu dan Menyimpan Kesaksian Yang Benar

“Sesungguhnya sebelum datangnya hari kiamat akan banyak kesaksian palsu dan disembunyikan kesaksian yang benar.” (Riwayat Ahmad)

Negara Arab menjadi Padang Rumput dan Sungai

“Tidak akan datang hari kiamat sehingga negeri Arab kembali menjadi padang rumput dan sungai-sungai.” (Sahih Muslim)

Demikianlah sebahagian daripada tanda-tanda kecil akan berlakunya hari kiamat. Marilah kita renungkan sejenak untuk menjadi panduan hidup. Hidup kita hanya sebentar sahaja di muka bumi ini, seharusnya hidup yang singkat ini kita isi dengan sesuatu yang berfaedah sama ada untuk diri sendiri, agama, bangsa mahupun negara. Andai kita seorang remaja, jadilah remaja yang bijak, baik hati, ingat Tuhan dan berbakti.

Na'uzubillah

2010-05-17T18:34:00.002+01:00

“Ketahuilah bahawa keikhlasan akan terdedah dengan penyakit ujub. Sesiapa kagum dengan amalannya akan terbatal amalannya.”

Success

2010-05-15T22:30:00.003+01:00

I still remember these words very clearly, but i cant remember who said it to me.

"Even if you are a janitor, or a dustbin cleaner, be a successful janitor or a successful dustbin cleaner"

I do hope i can imply this in my daily lifestyle. I am a student, i want to be a successful student. I am a son, i want to be a successful son. But the most important is i am a slave, i want to be a very successful slave. Allow for mistakes, cuz' we're human afterall.

Mimpi

2010-05-03T14:03:00.002+01:00

Semalam aku bermimpi, aku sebagai seorang budak menangis di samping ibu bapaku kerana aku tak faham bahasa Arab. The dream kept going on with me crying until a man came to me and said "It's ok" and he tought me a few words, lepas tu aku terbangun dalam pukul 8.30ish. Ada makna ke mimpi tu? :S Wallahu 'alam. Harap2 aku ade chance blaja bahasa Arab nanti, amin.

..

2010-05-02T19:09:00.001+01:00

Beware of undertaking too much at the start. Be content with quite a little. Allow for accidents. Allow for human nature, especially your own.

.

2010-05-02T00:23:00.000+01:00

i enjoy warmth because i have been cold. i appreciate light because i have been in darkness. By the same token, i can experience joy because i have known sadness.

Remember where we stand

2010-04-30T20:35:00.000+01:00

"Msa nk fly @ msuk U, sedara n jiran kta hulur sdikit duit, nk tlong, RM5,10,100.. Yg mskin sggup korek tbung @ usik duit elktrik bln trsbut utk bgi kat kta. Mngapa? YA,mrka mhu kta brjaya, TAPI, mrka jg ber-doa & ber-hrap 'ANK-ANK MRKA BLEH BRJAYA MCM KITA' Tmbhanlah doa kita, "Berilah kjayaan kpda ank2 mrka yg tlh mmbntu aku smsa aku mhu fly @ msuk u dhulu" Mrka x lokek, krna mrka thu Tuhan x lokek. Dan kita?" [Fahmi Chesterism]

;)

2010-04-29T14:15:00.001+01:00

In all you do, richly express the wonderful, unique person that is you. And find joy in seeing your greatest achievements flow from your most authentic and unique efforts.

Fear

2010-04-17T12:57:00.003+01:00

''We must travel in the direction of our fear'' (John Berryman)

It's weird as i thought since i dont update my blog as frequently as before people would go away and this writing column will eventually be forgotten. But when i went to the dashboard this morning, the number of followers increased! And i dont expect some of them to be one of the followers.

Please dont get this wrong. Im not Najib Razak, the Malaysian current Prime Minister and this is only my personal down to earth writing column where mostly i write something random that happenned in front of my eyes or recently motivational quotes to motivate myself and friends. I guess people just google the name "Najib" and found this blog, or "no visa or passport needed" which was my previous heading to get hands off the immigration or summat. Im only a typical guy with no important positions or can help you with whatever, so if you guys found this blog dont scare me off by randomly being one of the followers. Believe it or not, some of the government departments are following these writings :S

Well yeah, if you guys read this for fun, 'tis okay. Just keep in your mind, this is not anything formal. Cheers.

2010-04-05T07:30:00.001+01:00

''It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.'' (Alan Cohen)

In Memory of Me

2010-04-04T11:39:00.002+01:00

Look around you. One will never understand the other. One will never bother about the other forever. Selfish i should say 'cuz we are human. We are fighting to live this life, no ones want to die. I keep asking the same question since i was born into this world; why am i here? I do no harm to others yet others can be cruel sometimes. Some say life is fair, some say 'tis not.

We live different lifes, we're fighting different enemies yet sometimes the enemies are ourselves. I think over and over again, who decide every single dots? Dont try. Everything seems uncertain, i just want to stay still and watch. Miracles are everywhere only we are blind yet we can see. We are deaf but can hear.

I just want to live. Again, there are so many tomorrows.

Do it now!

2010-03-28T00:29:00.001Z

''Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are so many tomorrows'' (Michael Landon)

Fear

2010-03-26T12:15:00.002Z

''I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there ...will be nothing. Only I will remain.'' (Frank Herbert Dune,''Litany Against Fear'', 1965)

Get busy

2010-03-25T10:12:00.001Z

''Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy'' (Dale Carnegie)

Mental attitude

2010-03-24T10:51:00.002Z

''Your mental attitude is something you can control outright and you must use self-discipline until you create a Positive Mental Attitude -- your mental attitude attracts to you everything that makes you what you are.'' (Napolean Hill)

The way you think everyday surely will affect your day; whether where you are, how you're doing etc. Agree with him, Napolean Hill, now you're my friend lol x

I need to tidy up my rooom!

2010-03-22T11:29:00.000Z

''To endure is greater than to dare; to tire out hostile fortune; to be daunted by no difficulty; to keep heart when all have lost it -- who can say this is not greatness?'' (William Makepeace Thackeray)

Courage

2010-03-16T01:09:00.002Z

''As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.'' (Andre Norton)

Essay and lab reports T_T Ya Allah, mohon dimudahkan...amin

Pulling myself up again

2010-03-12T12:37:00.003Z

I dont care even the sky is falling down on me and all the people turning against me, only very little time is left and i have to make use of every, every single second. Easter holiday is one week away and that means final exam is almost here. I havent figure out which module im going to drop and im lost deep down in tonnes of work and havent started reading for previous modules.

Now people, every single breath counts. believe me if you are in my shoe. Do the best, make the best out of your life, put a motivation stimulator in yourself so you are not going to be left far away from others. And you, thanks for being a very good friend of mine to be there when you are needed. your words are my inspiration, and your jokes will cheer me up although i dont say it, and your presence do give calming effect. Bare with me.

A week after

2010-03-10T16:16:00.001Z

This does not make any sense. Guys, please help.

Day 5

2010-03-08T12:43:00.001Z

Still drugged. Whole world spinning each second. Condemned.

Day 1

2010-03-04T08:53:00.001Z

A young man with a small bottle. Now i believe that this world is only a transit. Drowsiness.

Men give good advise, well...technically

2010-02-20T08:56:00.005Z

You can click on the picture for a better view

7th February, Happy Birthday!

2010-02-06T23:01:00.005Z

Happy birthday to my brother, this is his 23-rd, i think. Even im not really sure what is my age now :Z He's just one year older than me though. That means im almost 22 :/

From left: Mum, my bro and Dad

Awang Zainal Abidin, he's a great brother. Willing to sacrifice for our family, very talented and skillful especially in techinical stuff. He can fix almost anything; from laptops, PCs, electrical things to cars. Very popular with girls, one snap and he can get a new missus with his charming personality. Oh well, im so envy of him.

Never said this to him, but he's the greatest brother i will ever have. One and only. May Allah bless you in any of your doings, grant you with prosperity, good health and kindness. Hopefully you'll read this yourself as i will never say this myself in front of you haha.

Happy Birthday!

Dementia Test!

2010-01-25T20:49:00.001Z

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany ... Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany ,

Or no man's land'?

Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question..

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to

Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven ..

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!!

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

Comfort zone

2010-01-22T20:53:00.003Z

I havent been here like for ages! Pardon me. It's that i've been enjoying reading others blogs rather than writing on my own page. I like being random and not specific to any topic so those of you who read this blog, dont expect too much :P its my training field for making conversation, language practice and a bit of life story-telling box.

Yeah, comfort zone. Right now im in Birmingham, writing this on the couch in the mild cold living room. I've been creating my comfort zone every time i settled down at one place and now im running from it. Too comfortable is not very good for me because i will tend to forget everthing else happen outside the zone and live in it, communicating with others over the internet mostly lol. And thats why i seem like to be leave alone. Im not! Kacau me for a bit, pull me back to reality xp

This is the end of our second week of Term 2 and classes are much more interesting than last year (although i keep missing at least 2 classes per week). The modules are fascinating and more realistic, something that i want to give more thoughts on them rather than just read and memorize all the data. Was thinking to specialise in Ecology last night but i think i cant be arsed/bothered to redo all the registration thingy.

And...our student union is now officially open. yeh, a bit too late but a good thing to tell ya all lol. i've been to the pool room 3 times since last week because its auwsumm! 8 pool tables with a music box sounds cool to ya ;) Do visit our uni as we have One World Week next week where there are loaads of things you can participate and watch ;)

Thats it, mau minta diri.

Laters.

1st week of 2010

2010-01-07T13:31:00.008Z

First thing first, 'tis freezin'! We spent our new year's eve with horror movies with a bottle of pepsi, kinda epic that night lol. New year? Still feel the same, quote from Nain: different year, same shit. The best thing happened in the week; it was snowing heavily last 2 days. Although it's very bright and sunny today, the white remainder is still covering the street. That is what i'm expecting for winter lol :P but like i said, it's cold freezin'. Max temperature today is -1 degree Celcius and i have to go out to town.

Our second term will start next monday and i don't have any idea how it will be. Our director emailed us labs timetable for other Biology streams but not ours and based on my timetable, my lectures will start on Wednesday if our labs pushed forward. And for sure, the cold temperature will be another thing to consider.

Some pics fellas ;)

First years, their first snow :)

Our Gibbet Hill!

Mr. Muscle, hoho

Ah, i found this photo in one of my mate's album.

Well, personally i dont agree with this. Just add a few switches for men, and i will nod my head, lol jokes. Men are not robots, just one switch to control. My mate's a guy, and i think he's trying to say women are that complicated in all aspects. Guys, we also have the same number of switches, but there are hidden. We are all human. Allah created us with similar basics, remember that.

I need to shower now, hasta luwego!

Towards the end

2009-12-27T11:20:00.004Z

Too many things happened within these 2 weeks, thus explained the short posts. Only 4 days before new year yet big news received out of nowhere. I got my own very shocking news for myself and not intended to tell anyone about it. What can i say, its a life-changing moment. I was still totally knackered from 9 days Spain tour and when i returned, lots of big news were inboxed in my mails etc. From now on, bare with me friends, because im gonna need y'all a lot >_<

The bastard in blue shirt has been one of my good friends since we left high school and we went out a lot everytime i went back to Kuching. He's a maniac and one of the individuals that made my holiday much happier. And he's going to leave Sarawak for good this 1 January. It's one of my big news and a very short notice. Yes, im sad.

I would love to write about our adventurous tour in Spain but my mind is still mixed with lots of thoughts, and i afraid it may turn the story into a dodgy one so forgive me. i posted lots of pictures in my facebook so you can view the awesomeness of our 9-days in Spain.

Now i realised things wouldn't stay like it is forever. 2009 had shown me big changes no matter what it is; relationship, finance, family, personal matters, friends etc. Hope i will grow more mature to experience greater things. With Allah helps. Amin.

22/12/2009

2009-12-24T12:33:00.001Z

A whole new beginning for me.

Spain was awesome.

I miss my family very much, love them forever. Love my friends too!

One more week!

2009-12-07T01:40:00.002Z

Phewww...practically im done writing my 3000 words essay. will do referencing, some adding and touching up tomorrow. When you concentrate and focus on what you're doing, 3000 words are no longer the maximum capability to write. After reading hundreds of sources, there are so many things and ideas to write but when it comes to referencing, alamak! I've lost my track after cutting out my words and now its a few words less than my total "safe zone" words number. Ah, later lah! Im so dizzy spending 36 hours in my room. I sacrificed my weekend, less contact with outside world and i even missed the Eid Adha celebration, i heard from Iwan the menu was yummy. Na, as long as i can achieved target it will be fine.

It's Week 10 already and yeh, im aware of it since we have deadlines, like...every week! Oi Flint/Moffats, stop giving us too many works already.. We're dying here, lack of sleep lah...pfft! Finger crossed, i dont want any written assignment during winter holiday. This time, im going to explore Spain with 4 other guys and hopefully it will be a good one.

Off to sleep or movie? I cant decide yet lol. Ciow cin cau fellas!

Weird people

2009-11-29T17:08:00.003Z

Case 1: I didnt know her and first time met, and she shouted at my face in front of everybody. i just remained calm.

Case 2: I refused one simple request because other's joke, and he@the f.a.g blamed it on me for nothing. i just remained calm.

Case 3: I've done nothing, and he made me from being best friend to total stranger. I asked how's he doing and stuff, and got no reply. i just remained calm.

Till when? I just remain calm and one day, i'll burst. To these people, go and eat your own sh*t. I dont care of your existence! Not even worth mentioning!

Week 8

2009-11-26T20:16:00.003Z

1. Absolute stressed and depressed.

2. Too much work.

3. Too many events.

4. Too wet and cold.

5. Injured because lack of exercise.

6. Want to be alone but feel too lonely. Want to socialise but feel too tired of it. Oh my.. need to balance it more.

Owh it's that time of year again... where personal conflicts and all problems come together, bashing me up till the bottomless ocean of life, haih~

:(

2009-11-22T22:32:00.004Z

i miss my family, friends, home and Kuching so much... its cold and im sad :( wish i have my own private jet!

till then xx

Old!

2009-11-21T13:39:00.002Z

I am growing old much faster. Less social life and more problem thinking session.

Old is boring but planning for "future" family is fun. Cant wait to have my own money, get married and have loads of babies! **ignore the last part.

Orphans will always have place somewhere in my heart. Unfortunately, no orphanage in the U.K i can visit :( and recently, 2 orphans girl became killers because of a boy. May God help guiding your souls.

--->bored of reading, writing report. holidays, cepat mali!!! pfft..

One after another

2009-11-11T21:05:00.004Z

Yes, i am finished with my labs today. No need to spend time everyday with little tiny bacteria for the time being.

Instead of physicals, now it is time to use my brain more. It's Lab report period :/

It's Wednesday and i haven't found anywhere cheap to go this weekend. Maybe i'll end up in my room again. If that's the case, hopefully i can do something productive.

I am starting to miss people in Malaysia; family and friends. Wish i can go to the hot beach with bright sun again during weekend rather than sitting in this cold room :( There you go. Soft side of me lol.

Better start working then. Hasta la vista.

My life as a foreign biologist

2009-11-05T20:45:00.005Z

Not until my second year in the U.K i realised the chance im having now. Being in the foreign country. To be here as a Malaysian despite of cheap flights by AirAsia is still a rare event. It is 13-hour flight journey and the weather is completely different from what we have in Malaysia, warm and wet. The first language is English and the cultures are absolutely alien to us. I never bother about those facts not until this afternoon when 3 of us; me, Diana and Karina; all from different countries were trying to communicate in the laboratory. Diana, my lab partner from Bulgaria and Karina from Russia. We were talking in our own English-slang to discuss about our dilution of bacteria culture and we kept repeating, trying to make each other to get the idea we were trying to deliver. It was a serious discussion ended up with smiles when each of us understood each other.

Diana is my lab partner cum tutorialmate since last year and we hardly understand each others' slang last year. It is much better this year and yet there are some points where i need to ask my same-root friends; hypo, milo, naz and helwa what we are doing during the labs. The report will be much more complicated since most of the marks are from discussions and planning of experiments. Hope i'll do fine insyaAllah. There is another deadline approaching which i haven't started researching yet. The piles of works are killing me but i promised myself to do better this year and to be more organised. The first deadline, our hypothesis-presenting tutorial was awesome. I am calmer compared to last year when communicating with my tutorial group especially the part when i have to make my tutor, an ecologist to understand the non-ecology stuff we discuss. And yeah, one of my tutorialmate, Sean, is an actor of Britain's movies, who is so down to earth and another one, Zoey is a professional dancer. Awesome innit?

I have many things in my mind that i wish i can do before graduating in 2011 insyaAllah and yet workloads are demanding for most of my hours and lacking of ATP energy producing which result in early bedtime are the factors to postpone all the thinking. If i am more organised, do you think i can fulfill my wants e.g travel outside the U.K during weekends? :P No need to answer that, thats so obvious. Until then, see you :)

Oh

2009-10-28T18:00:00.002Z

There were two firetrucks in front of Rootes building this afternoon when i was waiting for the bus to go home. I didnt know what had happened but the firemen were doing something to the driver's seat part of bus 801, Walsgrave Hospital and i barely can see if the driver was still in there. And oh, there was an ambulance too. It seemed bad really, but i didnt want to nose around and waited for the other bus in front of the library. I went out to town to sort some stuff, and policemen were all around the place. The siren can be heard like, every 2 or 3 hours. Somehow Coventry seems a little bit dangerous for me today.

Laboratory has begun last Monday and everyday i will be back home knackered. The stuff we learn this year is much more complicated and completely new to us and if we don't start revising it yet, i guess it is impossible to catch up all in last minute. Tomorrow is the deadline for tutorial and for essay, i haven't started yet. Oh, what a life!

People said " terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata membawa padah". Yeh, it sounds so right. O yeah, i am that sensitive, people. Grrr!

1st week

2009-10-12T01:28:00.002+01:00

it's 1.36am, monday, 12 october. yes, i have no class for today, and im super hungry. so here's the 1st week all about. it was ok. i've settled down in our great 3-storey house (compulsary to mention :P) im on second floor which is a quiet area since there are only 2 rooms on the floor, thats it. kitchen and living room, ok. overall im happy living in this house and i have started to eat as much as i can, but still no weight gained for the moment :( hopefully i will in no time.

bad news, the house is quite far from the closest bus stop, and university of warwick this year is too crowded, super crowded. i can bear with the 10 minutes walking from our house to bus stop (which i got lost for my first two days after i returned to the u.k) , but i lost my patience waiting for the bus to go to the university. even at effing 8 in the morning, the buses are full. it is really unbelievable and im still seeking for alternatives as backups if in case i dont get the bus number 12 for my 9am class. yeah, my mission this year is to minimize my absence from lectures. the modules and stuff we learn this year are much more complicated than last year. so, fighting-oh!

week 2 had begun. we will receive our first essay title this week and surely will be super busy and i will not be able to update this blog as regular as before. no pictures for this post since i've lost my camera usb. insyAllah for the upcoming post, i'll post the pictures from recent events. oh, we had our malaysian raya celebration yesterday. it was superb, the food was good. going to bed now. roger and out ;)

2 weeks++, it's worth it!

2009-10-01T21:43:00.006+01:00

too much to story, it's all mixed up in my head. so let some of the pictures help me with the words, not much, but just enough :)

went to my mates' university and ate kfc+tomyam on the bridge at midnite, wondering when will pak guard will come out chasing us. how cool is that? lol

beach! my favourite place

watched G-forced 3D at MBO, The Spring with girfriends :P

yep, again, fast-breaking sesh. unforgettable one since this year most of us came back for raya

still have lots to story, but pictures are everywhere so kinda lazy to go through one by one. plus, just got back home after changing burst tyre at effing 3.ooam! the mood was ok since k-box was awesome. total 18 songs :P

*for my own note, from 1st syawal till today; only stayed at home 1 day out of 14. how awwesoome is that :P

1st Syawal

2009-09-20T19:34:00.006+01:00

The weather was okay in the morning, a bit hotter in the afternoon and rained heavily in the evening. After solat raya, food kept on going into the stomach, visited 2 houses of my relatives' and then...sleep, from zuhr to maghrib. lazy thin tiny little devil!

At night, organised open house for my mum's workers. It was shocking so many people turned out, even kids and teens that we dont know came to our house. So classic, not many people do that nowadays. I can say, this is the best Aidilfitri i have ever had in last 5 years.

Tomorrow will be leaving for my grandparents' house and i am sure there will be havoc because of the kids, almost 20 of them! cant wait =) Salam Aidilfitri from all of us!

standing from left: me, my older sister and naqib(nephew), my brother-in-law, my brother
sitting from left: my lovely mum, my dad, my younger sister and hani(niece)

Salam Aidilfitri!

Eid-Mubarak, a new start

2009-09-18T18:47:00.004+01:00

Allah didn't promise it will be an easy way to get something, but Allah promise He will be with you if you want to. Watch and learn, turn down your ego, give and share what you have, and insyAllah you'll get something. Maybe not as what you hope it will be, but maybe much better than that. Happy Eid-Mubarak everyone. Alhamdulillah, passed.

Fast-breaking sesh with fellow schoolmates, Sept 16th, 26 Ramadhan

essay practice :P

2009-09-10T06:04:00.004+01:00

like what i've told nazri, this is the only site that i use to practice writing my basic english. so i should write more before writing 5 essays tomorrow :P

i'm enjoying holy ramadhan here in warwick uni. the food is good, even my prayers are getting better since i spend more time in the prayer hall. being a co-host of iftar is so exciting when people show their gratitude with happy face and that is enough to make me even happier than ever :) and also have the chance to talk to people from everywhere; turkey, spain, arab saudia, nigeria and even macca. nice people from nice countries. they like malaysians :p and im proud of it.

and not to forget, a brother called me aisha since he didnt know my name and confused with another permanent-resident of prayer hall, aysenur. but it was weird, since aisha is obvious a female name, lol :P it was not bad at all, a thing to laugh at. nice people, nice people. even my tutor ;) alhamdulillah. my recent posts will have no pictures in it since i left my camera usb cable in malaysia until i get it back, so perhaps if i can transfer pictures from khairul's camera, it will be a little bit fancy to look at :)

till then xx

Nuzul Al-Quran

2009-09-07T05:09:00.002+01:00

Asbab Nuzul Al-Quran, a special day for all of us moslims.

”Bacalah (wahai Muhammad) dengan nama Tuhan mu yang menciptakan (sekalian makhluk), Ia menciptakan manusia dari sebuku darah beku; Bacalah, dan Tuhan mu Yang Maha Pemurah, -Yang mengajar manusia melalui pena dan tulisan, -Ia mengajarkan manusia apa yang tidak diketahuinya.” (al-‘alaq:1-5)

indeed, this is my 21st Nuzul Al-Quran but still i havent spend much time reading our holy book. insyAllah, may Allah will guide us to be a better moslim and Al-Quran will be our primary guidance. insyAllah.

N.B: Thanks Mum, Dad. Love you both for ever eternity.

Mode: Kechiwa dengan service Lloyds Bank.

2009-09-02T18:15:00.003+01:00

it was so shocking that there is such service provided in U.K, specifically Lloyds Coventry branch can be so slow, like we have in Malaysia, no offence. i've been standing all day, waiting for my turn near the 4 counters but only one staff on duty. then she went in after done with one customer and didnt go back. so all 4 counters were empty! the queue were getting longer and people were getting annoyed. me too!

Ramadhan

2009-08-23T14:51:00.004+01:00

alhamdulillah, i managed to spend my first ramadhan with my lovely grandma and grandpa. my parents without any hesitation agreed when i asked to visit my grandparents again since im going back to england in two days time.

oo Lord, im going to miss that situation; my small cousins, nephew and niece kept running around like they not gonna stop until they used up all their energy. im lucky i got a very big family. from what i've heard from my grandma, she and my grandpa have 30 grandchildren and 7 grand-grandchildren. i kept losing my count whenever i tried to count how many kids were around in my grandparents house every raya celebration and they keep increasing every year :P

what can i say, i spent my first two days of ramadhan most on the road. it takes 3 hours driving from our house to my grandparents'. and it was worth it :)

happy fasting to all, may we have the blessings from Allah during this holy month.

*condolence to hypo's family for their lost of his father. be strong and may Allah will always be with you and your family.

Quickie

2009-08-14T11:45:00.003+01:00

1. some people are so selfish to keep burning the forest for their own benefits while others get the consequences.

2. obviously H1N1 is not a thing to be laughed at anymore, so keep yourself healthy and safe.

3. condolence to hypo's family for his father being hospitalised. may Allah be with you and your family.

4. there are disasters everywhere in the world and you know what it means.

5. be good and enjoy the rest of your day/holidays.

my 21st!

2009-08-10T14:35:00.002+01:00

same old same old :) thank you Allah for letting another good thing happens today on my birthday like last year. it is RAINING, heavily after a month im back in kuching. people said its not raining for almost 3 months until today. again, syukur alhamdulillah. i cannot bare to go through days without rain anymore.

extreme drought, crap doctors

2009-08-08T01:02:00.004+01:00

it is almost two weeks without rain. the sun' and the moon's color changed from light/bright yellow to bright red. the air that i inhale everyday feels so dry and when i exhale, it feels like a flame. my lungs cannot function as usual to achive the common vital capacity since the airways feel so narrow and full with dust and chemical pollutants that react with the inner parts. staying in air-conditioning room will give me headache if stay too long in it while fan gives me nothing. plus, our region is quite near to a big industrial site which release chemical dusts into the air almost everyday. lately the sirens from fire station, just 50 feets away from our house can be heard everyday. its not caused by open burning done by humans, but sudden fire initiated by the heat from recklessly hot sunshine, usually in the afternoon. and this is one of the crowded place in sarawak since there are 4 universities and institutions with thousands of houses and families.

i had fever last 4 days and the temperature was surprisingly 40 degree Celsius. alhamdulilah, with my parents at my side i recover quite fast. when i was in the hospital for my first treatment which i thought the best way to discover what is the cause of my extreme headache and fever, i had to wait for 8 hours to complete the whole so-called treatment. i felt sorry for my dad since he should be giving his talk to his employees and just sit at the waiting area for the whole 8 hours with my brother, which also had to forget about his work at office. what happened at the hospital annoyed me so much. they asked to take xray photo, then gave my urine and blood sample. there were 4 doctors assigned to check me and all of them kept asking the same questions and i wanted to scream at their faces so badly for letting me to wait almost 2 hours every intersections and everyone in the waiting area can see me giggling. and the last hours, i've waited much longer which i cant hold anymore.

i entered the treatment room and i can see my doctor was treating other patience and my medical report just lying on the table without no one ever care. i stand there for almost 20 minutes, still the report remained untouch.i went to the doctor and ask him to finalise the report. what did he say? i assigned you to other doctor. fcuking doctors! they kept passing their cases to one another. i cant believe how government hospitals operate. if there is any suggestion box, which i couldnt find one, it will full with swears and critics.

what happened at the end? they just gave me paracetamol and that made me really pissed off! i promise to myself government hospitals will be my last resort to get treatments. my fever getting worse that night and my parents advised me to see panel doctors. with 3 different types of pills which i swallowed for the first time and a bit rest, i recovered almost 70%.

im going to visit my grandparent's house this weekend and i hope i will get cleaner air there and get better for being 300km away from this sarawak's desert. have a good weekend ;) and to the future doctors, dont be like crap doctors i've mentioned.

sunday

2009-08-02T19:47:00.002+01:00

i just read my previous post and now then i realized my personality crisis is kinda kantoi to everyone who read it, lol. but fcuk that, i dont really care. today is sunday and i always love spending sunday at home. my relatives like to visit our house on sunday, and the best part is when they bring their kids. ah, i love kids. cant wait to have my own xp.

yeah, the world feels better after no more blackmail texts from the robbers since last night. what can i say, they are new robbers; inexperience. i can trace their address on my own if i want to, but im not going to give myself headache. now we are at the turning point; another text message, me and those robbers will have business to talk.

people are talking how great their summer holiday is, while im busy dealing with this stuff. for a moment last night, i laughed to myself. i cancelled my trip to kl and sabah because of an incidence i never expected will happen in my life; robbery and blackmail. i thought it only happens in movies and novels, but now it feels like im one of the characters.

let me quote from the last text i received from those robbers, which is the one i realized they never had any experience in blackmailing people. "maksud aku kau bank in ke akaun aku. aku beri number akaun then ko masukkan duit yang aku mintak. aku ada alamat kau." actually i translated it from sarawak dialect version, which sounds scarier than this quote. my father laughed when he heard that, everybody knows all ur personal details can be traced from the account number.

so here's the thing, i dont want to bring this case to court since im going back to england in no time. and i let myself think that maybe these creatures are desperately need money and they need to rob people and somehow i was at the wrong place, wrong time. they still have time to change their mind and stop dealing with me or else, only Allah knows what will happen.

p/s: sorry for these craps, i need to post something in this blog and this is my crap-english language practice site. insyAllah, i will try to write something worth to read in my future post, lol xp

The Worst Summer, Ever

2009-08-01T17:48:00.002+01:00

not enough they robbed all my properties in one night, they come back and ask for more. not enough they robbed me, now they are blackmailing me. O Allah, this is the biggest challenge ever for me after these years. i never felt this hatred to living things like now. and badly, i want to do stuff like chris mccandless did, go far away from people, money etc. and live in my own world.

im dealing with more than one individual here, im afraid if i involve others into this, it will lead to more harms than good. whats wrong with my thinking? i always imagine the worst for each scenario. and my mum is right, that explains my fierce character. because i always keep my problems to myself and i never want to share, even with my family members.

O Allah, give me strength to face all these challenges...

Great story :)

2009-07-23T19:57:00.001+01:00

click here for love :))

a story like no other

People

2009-07-23T18:24:00.002+01:00

Mood, feeling very lucky. surrounded by great people in their young age. i wonder what would people do during summer holidays other than having vacation in superb places like Gold Coast and Bali. i saw these pictures of my previous seniors in KYUEM joining the Indonesia Relief Mission 2009. from that moment, i realised these people i know either in SMSK, KYUEM or in europe universities are great future leaders and their heads full with kindness and responsibilities of everything. i hope i can be one ;) and i will be able to do what they had done. new mission :)))

The Most Beautiful Heart

2009-07-20T15:47:00.001+01:00

via Ratina Rahman, our lovely sponsor representative:

I remember reading this story posted on my fren Mim's wall masa kat university....

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most
beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart
for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it.

Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."

The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces
were missing.

The people stared -- how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed.

"You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears." "Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you.

You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece
of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.

"Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges -- giving love is taking a chance.Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting.

So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man,
reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old
man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.

It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.

They embraced and walked away side by side.